Truro
Branch Line Engine
Posts: 1,041
|
Post by Truro on Oct 20, 2006 7:03:32 GMT
Did you put this person in his place? Not yet. If I beat him up, the lecturers would just feel sorry for him, because the little creep got what he deserved. All I can do is pull a Diesel-like plot and destroy his reputation, making it unbearable for him to show his face in collage. I would have fought her if she didn't have the past problems she had. I mean she had a terrible life and this may be the reason why she acts these ways, so I leave her alone. But if she's taking her problems out on other people, then she deserves no sympathy. Laugh at her with your friends, draw attention to her quirks, and don't ever be nice to her. Make sure your friends do the same. Otherwise, she'll go through life thinking its okay to treat people like that. These things have to be nipped in the bud, before she deludes herself that she can get away with murder.
|
|
|
Post by FlyingScotsman on Oct 20, 2006 9:57:56 GMT
My response when I get such a reaction to one of my jokes is, "No, I'm being humorous. I didn't think you'd recognise it."
|
|
inuprincess
Goods Engine
(courtesy of Chris) Red and spicy like hot sauce.
Posts: 306
|
Post by inuprincess on Oct 20, 2006 22:05:04 GMT
Did you put this person in his place? Not yet. If I beat him up, the lecturers would just feel sorry for him, because the little creep got what he deserved. All I can do is pull a Diesel-like plot and destroy his reputation, making it unbearable for him to show his face in collage. I would have fought her if she didn't have the past problems she had. I mean she had a terrible life and this may be the reason why she acts these ways, so I leave her alone. But if she's taking her problems out on other people, then she deserves no sympathy. Laugh at her with your friends, draw attention to her quirks, and don't ever be nice to her. Make sure your friends do the same. Otherwise, she'll go through life thinking its okay to treat people like that. These things have to be nipped in the bud, before she deludes herself that she can get away with murder. Ah, I see, you have a point there with her learning her lesson. I just thought she been through so much horrible things to bother with, but she should learn her lesson on treating people. (She told everyone in the East Asian majors about her past experiences, so we all know what she's been through, its pretty sad.) Well, you can do that to him if he bothers you again. I'm usually up for revenge when someone treats me wrongly.
|
|
jw24
Goods Engine
So the Old Iron caught you, after all
Posts: 337
|
Post by jw24 on Oct 28, 2006 20:18:20 GMT
I've got a new problem. It's my little brother. He's 10 years old but he's been acting rather immature. I know it and so do my parents. He always complains that the food we have is horrendous and always wants to go out and eat restaurant food. We tell him all the time that we'd be wasting a lot of money by going out every day but he takes no notice. But that's just the beginning. Sometimes, he falls behind in homework and my mom, in particular, gets very upset at him. My little brother complains that he has so much work to do and often procrastinates his work. Every time he does that, my mom always explodes in rage. She ends up yelling, screaming and even throwing things on the walls. Not only that, he's been getting up early playing video games, watching TV and even doing his own homework and he misses the bus, which makes my parents very upset. I really think he needs to get AMSAP (As much sleep as possible)
My parents and I are trying to think of various solutions to try and change my little brother's behavior but every time we do, it ends up backfiring. If his behavior keeps up, he will have ruined my life for good! Seriously, what my parents can do? Is there anything I can do to help?
|
|
Truro
Branch Line Engine
Posts: 1,041
|
Post by Truro on Oct 28, 2006 20:41:20 GMT
Bill Cosby would be the one to help your parents. However, since I can't find a way to contact him, I'll try to help.
Your parents may need to be a bit more strict with him. Not to the standards of the Dunsleys, but laying down the law, and actually punishing this behavior will be a bit more constructive than simply Getting angry, and doing nothing about it. Your parents can restrict him from watching television and playing computer games. And, whatever you do never, I say NEVER resort to hitting him. This only make things worse for everyone.
|
|
jw24
Goods Engine
So the Old Iron caught you, after all
Posts: 337
|
Post by jw24 on Oct 28, 2006 22:32:45 GMT
We've tried restricting his video games, computer and TV, but it doesn't work. My parents have tried that several times but the end result is still the same. His behavior is still the same. Nothing changes, unfortunately.
|
|
Truro
Branch Line Engine
Posts: 1,041
|
Post by Truro on Oct 28, 2006 22:40:38 GMT
Have you actually stuck with it though? It takes five weeks to get into a habit, and five weeks to get out of it. Perhaps persistence will be the best way to go about it. Also keep in mind, that as well as punishing bad behavior, reward him, when he behaves well.
If not, then all I can suggest is that you arrange to send him to a counselor.
|
|
inuprincess
Goods Engine
(courtesy of Chris) Red and spicy like hot sauce.
Posts: 306
|
Post by inuprincess on Oct 28, 2006 22:49:51 GMT
Oh my, your brother is acting exactly like me right now. I was always the good student in high school but when I came to college, the work proved to be harder than what I'm used to. I get bad grades and just cry about it, about how I used to be so bright, I also procrastinate exactly like your brother. I complain to the extream about the cafeteria food they are serving me here, so just like your brother, I waste my money on resturant. Since we both act the same, I might say that he's unhappy. Maybe his grades aren't good and he's calling out for help. About the food, maybe your parents used to cook better but they have changed their cooking habits which caused this reaction. I know I was used to my parents cooking, so moving away from them and having to submit to cafeteria (which is delporable at times) cause this angry reaction. Just like how your parents can't solve this problem, I can't solve my own actions (which mirrows your brother). He's 10 and I know I'm a college student, whic is a huge gap, but these actions are the same and responding to something. I vote for homesick on my part. Homesickness would be the first thing I consider but I assume he lived with you all all his life. Maybe there was another drastic change in your household that caused this, whether you moved or someone new came to live with you). So yeah, main cause I'm thinking is change.
|
|
|
Post by FlyingScotsman on Oct 30, 2006 11:06:50 GMT
The first suggestion I'd make is, tell your parents not to lose their temper. It sounds like he's attention-seeking, and getting really angry with him is giving him attention in a non-constructive way. I would suggest actually taking his game console away. If he has a TV in his room, take that away as well and make it clear that they stay away until his behaviour improves. If it does improve, then let him watch television or play games for a little while. As for the food thing, calmly say that you can't afford restaurant food and that the choice is home food or nothing, there is no other option.
Additionally, I suggest that your parents talk to him and to the school to find out whether he really is having trouble with the work, and if anything can be done about it, or if there's any other problems that lie at the root of the matter.
Ultimately, the key is to make it clear that you all want to help him, but that he can't just take what he wants, whenever he wants. Young children generally start behaving once they realise that they can't get what they want by misbehaving.
|
|
jw24
Goods Engine
So the Old Iron caught you, after all
Posts: 337
|
Post by jw24 on Nov 1, 2006 1:56:04 GMT
Thanks for all your suggestions. The good news is, he isn't complaining about not having things to eat. However, he still falling behind in school. Not only he is procrastinating his work, he doesn't even turn things in and sometimes, leaves materials in school that are necessary to complete assignments. My mom is most upset about that. I bring all my materials that I need to study for school at home every day but that's not part of his daily routine. He also seems to moan and complain about how much he has to do every day.
Our family goes to a Chinese Language School every Sunday. My dad works is in charge of registration and I'm a teaching assistant there while my little brother is a student there. He also gets homework, as well. Personally, I went through Chinese Language school for nine years and not once have I ever let the Chinese school homework interefere with my regular school work. But that's not the case, for him. Things are getting sour between my mom and him and I fear that this might turn into an ugly brawl at some point at which they never decide to speak to each other, for life.
What I can do? I don't want to question my mom's authority and make her think that I'm on my brother's side. Can anyone help me? My mind is complete disarray.
|
|
|
Post by Mark Iron on Nov 30, 2006 5:24:47 GMT
okay, I need a bit of help. Recently, I've been dealing with a lot of stress. Recently , I've been getting panic attacks. Not ones that too bad, but a good amount of mini-bad ones. Usually one per week. Now, what I'm trying to ask is, would anyone know of some ways to relieve some of the stress and end some of the panic attacks?
|
|
gotSTEAM?
Branch Line Engine
Still dreaming <3
Posts: 1,234
|
Post by gotSTEAM? on Nov 30, 2006 5:33:45 GMT
Well, to help you, I need to know a few things...
- Do they happen at a certain place, or anywhere? - What about a certain time of day? Anytime or around a certain hour? - Do certain people make you nervous? - What kind of panic do you feel? Imminent danger, death, or fear itself?
I might be able to help if you answer these questions for me ^^
~Elizabeth
|
|
|
Post by Mark Iron on Nov 30, 2006 5:40:56 GMT
Well, to help you, I need to know a few things... - Do they happen at a certain place, or anywhere? - What about a certain time of day? Anytime or around a certain hour? - Do certain people make you nervous? - What kind of panic do you feel? Imminent danger, death, or fear itself? I might be able to help if you answer these questions for me ^^ ~Elizabeth usually sunday night at my house, around 8-10 pm. some types of people make me nervious (though I don't deal with them during the attacks). Type of panic is usually that i'm going to fail something or that i'm never going to do what I want to get done.
|
|
gotSTEAM?
Branch Line Engine
Still dreaming <3
Posts: 1,234
|
Post by gotSTEAM? on Nov 30, 2006 5:49:53 GMT
Well, to curb the panic attacks, I suggest either relaxing music or a workout of some sort ^_^ Or else something to clear your mind, and some breathing excercises. If attacks occur anyway, lay down and remember that the panic attacks most likely won't make the things you're panicking about a reality ^^
~Elizabeth
|
|
inuprincess
Goods Engine
(courtesy of Chris) Red and spicy like hot sauce.
Posts: 306
|
Post by inuprincess on Dec 3, 2006 20:37:10 GMT
Sometimes, when I panic or feel extremily paranoid, I stay up and play around on the computer, play video games, listen to music, or watch TV. I usually worry at night and it doesn't help me sleep, so I do these things.
Hm, I'm curious what you guys would say about this. On my floor in my buidling, I only say hi to the girls since they all know each other and didn't really try to get to know me. I mean, they haven't invited me to any of their hangouts or outings or whatever. It feels pretty lonesome on this floor..One of the girls moved out this week, so I decided to write a message to her. I did this since she needed a roommate and I could've offer it to her. I was offended that I lived right next door and she didn't even ask me. Here's what it said:
Me: Since you moved out, might as well ask this. How come is seems that you, and some of the other girls on the 5th floor, don't like me? I mean, ever since I moved here you never really attempted to even start a conversation with me or even invite me when you and the other Myers girls were hanging out. I usually feel coldness on this floor. I sometimes leave my door open and always say hi to you all, but some of you seem to just glare at me. I don't know if its because I'm minority and you, as well as some of the other girls, may not like African Americans/other race or is it because I like anime, and Japanese things so therefore I'm weird. I'm not forcing you to be my friend. Its just that these things puzzle me and I'd like an explanation.
I never knew you was going to move out and needed a roommate. If you got to know me you could have moved here but of course of you girls never really attempted to even have one conversation with me.
Girl: I'm really sorry you felt that way, but I must admit, I'm insulted by your insinuation that I wasn't friends with you because you're a minority. That's a completely unfair assumption and it's not true. Personally, I didn't think you liked me. A couple of times I tried to talk to you and I felt like you were annoyed. That's one reason I never asked if I could move in with you. Most of the girls on the floor are very nice people and none of them would dislike or ignore you for any of the reasons you listed to me.
Me:Very sorry, about the assumption. I just felt so left out up here, that that was one of the reasons that ran through my mind. Sorry, about that.
I didn't know I seemed annoyed. I'm sorry about that too. I usually just want to make friends and not get on ppl's bad side, but I wait till others make the first move such as inviting me somewhere because I'm extremily shy. That was probably why I seemed annoyed, I'm really shy and its hard for me to get to know ppl. Trust me, I wasn't annoyed. I usually never get annoyed. People consider me a push over since I'm so extremely nice, some would take advantage of that. I usually don't talk much because of that, until I get to know ppl more.
You, and most of these other girls, seem really nice. That's why I was very confused about me not fitting in. I mean when I say hi, you all, would just say hi. I don't know how to continue a converation since I don't want to say anything dumb, so I usually leave it on others to do that.
She hasn't respond after that, which hurts my feelings. On top of that, she set her facebook page on stricter privacy settings after she messaged me. I thought she would offer her friendship to me since I wanted to settle this, but I guess not. She seems really offended about my generalizations, but I feel that she should have seen it through my point of view. I think she's giving lame excuses to not be my friend. Second, I'm not an unfriendly person, I said hi to her whenever I saw her. She's the one with the group so she should have invited me to stuff, which she never did. I asked all my other friends if I ever seemed annoyed and they said absolutely not, I'm like the nicest person they ever met, so I'm really confused.
I want your advice or even just your imput or opinion. Be harsh or direct, I don't care.
|
|
|
Post by Ryan on Dec 3, 2006 20:41:08 GMT
usually sunday night at my house, around 8-10 pm. some types of people make me nervious (though I don't deal with them during the attacks). Type of panic is usually that i'm going to fail something or that i'm never going to do what I want to get done. Been in the same kind of thing. Sunday nights are always notoriously bad for worrying about things. Really, if it's school work or something that's bothering you, set out an itinerary for it. Schedule what you're going to do and plan in advance. That and think more positively as well - you'll never fail if you put the needed work and effort into everything you do.
|
|
Truro
Branch Line Engine
Posts: 1,041
|
Post by Truro on Dec 3, 2006 20:59:35 GMT
I'll try and help you, inuprincess. When you'd say Hi in person, to this girl, was there anything on your mind, or anything that was troubling you? If so, she may have caught a sort of 'Negative vive' However, if that's not the case, and its ture that she was looking for excuses, then perhaps you should give up on her. On making friends with the girls on the 5th floor though, perhaps there may be a chance. Rather than try to make friends with a group, make friends with one of them, and they'll take you into the group. Try to find out some of there interests/hobbies, and see if you have any common interests with any of them. If not, try taking up a sport, to give yourself somthing to talk to them aabout. Conversation and confidence are the keys here. Maybe you caan save up your money and ask any of them if they'd like to go Christms shopping sometime, and help you pick out gifts for people. If what your friends say aboutyou being nice is true (Which I believe it to be ) They'll soon warm up to you.
|
|
inuprincess
Goods Engine
(courtesy of Chris) Red and spicy like hot sauce.
Posts: 306
|
Post by inuprincess on Dec 3, 2006 21:15:54 GMT
Hey, thanks. ^ ^ I think I'll try that, about getting to know one first. About the negative vibes, everytime I'm walking in the hall, I feel uncomfortable that they don't try to get to know me in the first place, so that could be it. But even so, I always smile my best and talk in a happy voice when I greet someone. I'm puzzled, but I feel like she is making excuses, because even on my worst day, my friends don't feel it unless I say something. It confuses me since she seems like a nice girl. She loves art, animal planet, and nature, which I love to, so I'm really confuse in why she doesn't want to give me a chance. She seemed like me, more so that the other girls. I really like Japanese culture and anime, which none of the girls like...so its going to be really hard to even find common ground with them. I feel like its too late since we all lived here for four monthes and I'm they only girl they haven't talked to...They'll think I'm weird if I try to talk to them more all of a sudden, or they might act like this girl...who knows. It's really upsetting though since I try my best to be on ppl's good side and not make an enimy...
|
|
Truro
Branch Line Engine
Posts: 1,041
|
Post by Truro on Dec 3, 2006 22:28:07 GMT
Hey, thanks. ^ ^ I think I'll try that, about getting to know one first. I'm puzzled, but I feel like she is making excuses, because even on my worst day, my friends don't feel it unless I say something. It confuses me since she seems like a nice girl. She loves art, animal planet, and nature, which I love to, so I'm really confuse in why she doesn't want to give me a chance. She seemed like me, more so that the other girls. I really like Japanese culture and anime, which none of the girls like...so its going to be really hard to even find common ground with them. That's quite puzzling, I agree. Here's a girl who you have a lot in common with, and her not wanting to be friends. It could be that you came on a bit strong in your seccond message. I understand about it seemly a bit late, to mke friends, but it may not be too late. Have you notised these other girls make references to anything like sport, or a particular TV show? What you could do is find some information, or interesting triva about such things (If these girls don't access the internet very often, then it will be even better, since you can find web sites about such things) If you find a website, about this interest tht one of the girls has, write down the url for them, and say "Hey I stumbled onto this website, the other day, and thought you'd like to take a peak." and give her the URL. Later, ask them if they checked out the site, and if she did, you can talk about it. On finding common ground, don't be afraid to try new things, like swimming, boxing, golf, or perhaps a martil art. The more activities you try, you greter the chance of finding somthing to talk about. Hope this helps
|
|
inuprincess
Goods Engine
(courtesy of Chris) Red and spicy like hot sauce.
Posts: 306
|
Post by inuprincess on Dec 4, 2006 19:14:14 GMT
Ah, I see. ^ ^
The good news is, that she and the head of the floor understands my message now, so they said they'll try to get to know me more and invite me to activities.
|
|