gotSTEAM?
Branch Line Engine
Still dreaming <3
Posts: 1,234
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Post by gotSTEAM? on Oct 4, 2006 18:00:03 GMT
My dad's illness is under control, but he takes this godawful medicine that makes him tired and sick - there's no way he can go off it because then the arthritis will progress and he'll become crippled T_T
As for my mom, therapy is not a solution - a job is, however. She worked as a nurse for 20 years, but when I turned 8, she quit so she could keep an eye on me, as my untreated Asperger's was getting out of control.
When it comes to gaining my freedom, the only way I feel I'll get away is if I move - FAR AWAY. Somewhere where it takes more then 4-5 hours to drive. So, I'm movin' out-of-state when I get out of college - I'll take residence in Virginia, it's nice there ^_^ Housing for college is not an option, as I can't afford it and there's no way in hell my mom would allow it ^^'
My life will get better, and I'm taking everyone's advice to the best of my abilities, I thank you for your help ^_^
~Elizabeth
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Post by Aidan on Oct 4, 2006 20:16:57 GMT
Just remember, Elizabeth, you have everything you need, if you just believe.
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Post by bobwinkle007 on Oct 4, 2006 22:50:39 GMT
That's an interesting situation, Elizabeth. I can't say that I'm in the same situation as you, but in a way, I might be. I just realized that my family has problems. They have for a while, but I never realized it. I got so frusterated and upset because I felt like I need to take care of my family's problems. My life is fine, but inside I'm tearing myself apart. So I stopped worrying. I'm not saying that I stopped caring about my family, I just stopped worrying. Things weren't in my control and there really wasn't anything that I could do. I'm not in charge of my family, so I stopped worrying about their problems. I'm taking care of myself and focusing on improving my own life. I've never felt better. I'm not sure if that's the path that you want to take, Liz. Maybe I'm self centered, but if I always worry about my family, I'm going to be miserable. I'm taking control of my own life and I've never been better. The point is this: maybe there isn't anything that you can do to help your parents right now. They may be having issues, but you don't need blame yourself and be stressed out. Maybe you need some alone time after college. I'm not saying that you should run away from the problems in your family, but maybe some time alone will allow you to relax and think. I'm not sure if this helps or even makes sense, but I wanted to post something. And Jake, that happens to everyone. Just be careful about what you say in the future.
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gotSTEAM?
Branch Line Engine
Still dreaming <3
Posts: 1,234
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Post by gotSTEAM? on Oct 5, 2006 2:37:16 GMT
Just remember, Elizabeth, you have everything you need, if you just believe. You have no idea how much I listen to that song, Aidan ^_^ That's an interesting situation, Elizabeth. I can't say that I'm in the same situation as you, but in a way, I might be. I just realized that my family has problems. They have for a while, but I never realized it. I got so frusterated and upset because I felt like I need to take care of my family's problems. My life is fine, but inside I'm tearing myself apart. So I stopped worrying. I'm not saying that I stopped caring about my family, I just stopped worrying. Things weren't in my control and there really wasn't anything that I could do. I'm not in charge of my family, so I stopped worrying about their problems. I'm taking care of myself and focusing on improving my own life. I've never felt better. I'm not sure if that's the path that you want to take, Liz. Maybe I'm self centered, but if I always worry about my family, I'm going to be miserable. I'm taking control of my own life and I've never been better. The point is this: maybe there isn't anything that you can do to help your parents right now. They may be having issues, but you don't need blame yourself and be stressed out. Maybe you need some alone time after college. I'm not saying that you should run away from the problems in your family, but maybe some time alone will allow you to relax and think. I'm not sure if this helps or even makes sense, but I wanted to post something. And Jake, that happens to everyone. Just be careful about what you say in the future. Bob, that makes A LOT of sense. At the moment, I'm pretty detatched to my family, trying to form my own life. I still keep an eye on everything, without trying to get caught up in the whirlwinds XD I'd love time alone, maybe I will try to get some before moving to VA.... ~Elizabeth
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Post by ~Mad Marty~ on Oct 5, 2006 3:42:49 GMT
Liz,
I'm 20, and I can understand that you're not happy with the way things have been. Why does your Mum sleep like 23 hours a day? Is it a medical problem? There are some people who almost sleep their entire lives away because their normal life is so stressful, they want a release from the stress. It may be your father's condition that is causing the stress. You are 19 years old now, and if I am not mistaken, you are an adult and can make your own choice with life.
When the opportunity arises, talk with your parents and briefly express your feelings. You are an adult now, and ask them to be treated like one. You must understand that a parent will look at their child and see a child, not a man or woman. Its a parental thing.
Just remember something - A person is only miserable because they chose to be miserable. There are people in the world with all sorts of problems and yet somehow manage to smile through the whole thing. Perhaps it is just because they've learned to count their blessings. Blessing No.1 for the day is that you wake up alive. Blessing No.2 is that you have a healthy body which can get out of bed. Blessing No.3 is that your Mum and Dad are still around, at least making an attempt at parenthood. Blessing No.4 is that you live with a roof over your head, clothes to wear and food to eat.
Chose to see the positive, the happy and the blessings in your life. Don't blame other people for how you are. You should learn to find happiness within yourself. Don't depend on other people to make you happy. Surround yourself with things that make you happy and count each blessing as it comes.
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Post by jake on Oct 6, 2006 16:38:36 GMT
Some more advice from yours truly:
I have problems concentrating in school, so in classes I'm supposed to sit up at the front, but in my Science class, there IS no front desk. All the desks are scattered in a semi circle (kind of) and the only seat close to the teacher is right by her desk. Yesterday, these kids called me a "Teachers Pet" because I sit so close to the teacher.
What should I do? Sit in the back of the class and let my grades slide, or what?
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gotSTEAM?
Branch Line Engine
Still dreaming <3
Posts: 1,234
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Post by gotSTEAM? on Oct 6, 2006 17:01:46 GMT
Some more advice from yours truly: I have problems concentrating in school, so in classes I'm supposed to sit up at the front, but in my Science class, there IS no front desk. All the desks are scattered in a semi circle (kind of) and the only seat close to the teacher is right by her desk. Yesterday, these kids called me a "Teachers Pet" because I sit so close to the teacher. What should I do? Sit in the back of the class and let my grades slide, or what? Plain and simple, Jake - Don't listen to them! If that's where you like to sit, then that's THEIR problem, not yours ^_^ Yeah, I know the 'don't listen to them' thing is hard, but is does work - if not, then confront someone with authority about it ^^ In response to hartleymartin, my mom sleeps 23 hours a day because of stress, my dad's illness, and a weird sleeping schedule that was established 30 years ago because of her former job. I can't say I'm miserable, my life has actually improved since the 'dark times'. Though I am getting very worn out by all the bitterness in my house ^^' I just try to avoid contact with everyone - it works for me and keeps my fragile spirits in one piece XD As for making my own decisions...my dad understands, but my mom rules everyone's lives with an iron fist ^^' ~Elizabeth
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Post by Old Square Wheels on Oct 7, 2006 7:25:23 GMT
Some more advice from yours truly: I have problems concentrating in school, so in classes I'm supposed to sit up at the front, but in my Science class, there IS no front desk. All the desks are scattered in a semi circle (kind of) and the only seat close to the teacher is right by her desk. Yesterday, these kids called me a "Teachers Pet" because I sit so close to the teacher. What should I do? Sit in the back of the class and let my grades slide, or what? Opinions of people like those are not worth worrying about. I've been called a nerd and such several times by some of the 'cool' kids. I used to get annoyed, but now I don't care. "If I wanted to listen to an a**holes opinion...."
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Post by Cläy on Oct 7, 2006 13:28:50 GMT
Oh charming, OSW. I only had those beans to impress you. Seriously, Jake mate, ignore them. They're below your notice. And really, what's so insulting about being a "Teacher's Pet"? I used to be called a nerd. Just took it in my stride...mainly because I was a nerd. That's all you need to do. Better yet, play it up! Start calling yourself 'Pet Boy' or something. If you show you don't care, they'll stop. Simple.
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douglas
Main Line Engine
Posts: 2,256
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Post by douglas on Oct 8, 2006 1:25:07 GMT
Better yet, play it up! Start calling yourself 'Pet Boy' or something. If you show you don't care, they'll stop. Simple. Exactly; never give bullies the advantage, or they will keep it up and make you miserable. Shrug it off, but never make it seem like you're upset; it only makes it worse.
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Post by FlyingScotsman on Oct 9, 2006 9:48:00 GMT
Definitely. Don't get aggressive, just show you're not bothered.
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JimBobDunnie
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[Advertise Your Business Here]
Posts: 1,002
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Post by JimBobDunnie on Oct 14, 2006 21:37:50 GMT
WARNING-I must warn yer people, this is baisically a very long (most probably boring too) JimBob-stylie moan. So if you don't like rants or any of the sort, I'd click back or that neat little 'X' button on the top, now. Go on...you know you wanna...
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Ok then, well I'm sort've hit a low point recently. My offline life is a bit of a mess at the mo. My friends are becoming a boy band (not turning gay, I'd like to clarrify), the thing I enjoy the most is being spoilt for me and even a few problem here an' all. Why I haven't posted sooner is a bloody myth to me, so don't ask coz' yer won't get a answer. Nope, not a single one.
Well, here's the problem with my friends. Okay, there's two different JimBob's yer see. SiF JimBob, the one presented here, and Not SiF JimBob, the one you don't see. The Not SiF one is a mumbling, un-sure lad who has problems 24/7. The one on here is the complete opposite (who'd a thought it?). Baisically, there's only five people I can call real friends. There are others in other forums who I'm friendly with, but its these five I hang round with. Now, the one friend, who happens to be my best mate who I've known from primary, has like me two sides. Outside school, a top-class mate who I can have a laugh with. The other being inside school, a jacka**. I won't go into what he does, but lets just say he's has to be right and think he's the bloody big billy bollocks. Now, in school I tend to argue quite a bit recently. We forgive, of course, and now he's targeting the other friends. He's getting in a lot of arguements with others. There's this other jacka** in my class who doesn't like or most of my friends, but the person question thinks he's his. Fact is, he's not. Yeah, friendly to him sometimes, but most of the time he can't give a bloody toss. Best thing to do would be walk away, right? Well I can't. He's been my best friend for ages, and outside of school he's bloomin' safe, like I said. It's his attitude in school that gets me. Of course, this leaves me no other choose but to stick with my other friends until he see's the light, but then again, what if he don't? That is my biggest worry...
Ok, I'll end that there cos' I think I'm boring you to tears, problem number 2...
Ok, as I'm sure anyone who knows me really, really, really, really, really, really well knows that I'm mad for rugby. Love it, watch it, I even play it. I train and play twice in one weeks for both the school and a out of school team. Now, the school one I'm alright with, its the out of school one thats me problem. Now, I was once the captain of this team. Once. I was appointed last December and I quite a few weeks ago. Why? Because the team hated the decision from the start, mainly. Like I said before, I'm not a good speaker. Of course, I could say the right things, but not clearly or in a good way. Plus I wasn't exactly 'popular'. I'm not saying I was hated or anything, oh no I get on with the team alright. It's the fact there's always a 'gang' in a team, like there is in school or wherever you go mainly. And this 'gang' didn't agree with the decision. If I did a thing wrong or said the wrong thing, they would have a go like it was a bad thing. So I quit, plain and simple. Plus it was fair to give someone else a go, weren't it? That ain't the problem though. Recently, the team have been losing. Not because we're rubbish, its because of the players. You see, the players think their the best. Plain and simple. Not team players, self players. Their the best, no-one else is. If something goes wrong, it's not their fault, its always someone else. Now, these players number one target is of course the ref' and back chat is a common thing. Plus the fights are bloody every match. The team is on a slump. No-one is wanting to play for a bunch of thugs and we need new one's desparetly. Now recently, after last weeks match actually, my Dad has advised me to leave. Now, I'm at a fork in the road here. Basically, my dream is to make it to the top. Mad, I know, but then again my other username is 'MadWelshman_24', in'it? It's my dream. Everyone can dream, and thats what I want to be. Semi, Pro, World Class, I don't care, as long I'm playin' it, I'm happy. You could say these individual people are dragging me down with that goal and I should leave, but let me run this past you. Year 7 I was unfit, I couldn't play to save my life I was only just getting into the school team. Years later I'm now incrediably fit, I feel great and I'm playing everyfull match. If that club could do that to me, what else can I do? Plus the fact of even playing against this club puts me right off. I love the friendliless off the pitch. I get along with everyone, its brilliant. Its the only other place I feel accepted into, the only other one being here. I'd hate to leave, but would my dream bubble pop if I do?
Anyhoo, last one now, if you've read this far your either: 1) Had too much coffee. 2) Had too much time on your hands. 3) Had too much sugar. 4) Mad.
Now, this is general now, forum, other places, offline, the lot. I generally feel 24/7 ignored. I know this is probably untrue and I do seem to bloody complain about this loads but I can't help it. I know I've just posted a new chapter of Curious Incident, but I'd like to say I ain't having a cheap shot on getting praise, I'd like to say. I feel generally ignored. I remember once offline I said something funny (what it was it slips my mind) and then another person tells him it, he's laughing in hysterics and praises him for it (bloody charming I tell you...). Here I can think of a few, but I won't name cos' that would be siwwy (I'm hoping no-one thinks I'm having a blood cheap shot on getting praise, I don't even know I think should I be saying I'm not either. I confused I swear!). Half of me thinks I'am ignored or generally looked other, the other thinks that I'm just thinking it. How on earth can I stop thinking I'am? It's getting on my bloody nerves recently!
Anyhoo, thats my life. A total bloody bombsite. I hope you can make sense of all that, cos' I bloody can't...and I wrote the damn thing.
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Post by Alaric on Oct 14, 2006 21:59:49 GMT
1. Other than having a word with him, telling him how his attitude at school's irritating you, and asking why he can't be the same at school as he is outside of it, there doesn't seem much you can do. I know it's tricky, because you don't want to risk losing a long-time friend. You could try ignoring him when he acts like that, or playing it down (say stuff like 'yeah yeah, whatever') to show him that he's not impressing anyone.
2. You guys have a coach, yeah? Couldn't you have a word with him about the team's behaviour and see if he can help sort it out?
3. We all think things like that sometimes. What I like to do when I feel that way is just post something. A parody, a story, something I've said into the microphone, anything. Because 9 times out of 10, people will respond to it, and then I don't feel bad anymore. Offline's a bit harder. You don't wanna go round attention-seeking, because then you get the wrong kind of attention. Try just saying stuff to people, like a joke or a humorous insight (I know you're good at those). See if you get a reaction.
I'm not really good at giving advice, but I hope that this helps you somewhat. Hate to see a friend feeling down.
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Post by bobwinkle007 on Oct 14, 2006 22:06:22 GMT
Ok, then. I think I understood all that. Since I actually read the entire thing, I think that I should at least try to make a decent response. Even if what I say doesn't make sense or help much, at least it'll help you not feel ignored! ;D
So in a nutshell, your first problem is that your best friend acts like an *** during school, but is cool outside of school, right? I've had a few friends like that. One of them is my best friend. She's the queen of the world and makes jokes at my expense during school, but she's nice outside of school. Some friend, eh? Even if she does act like a jerk, I'll still be there for her. Some people don't like her and when they talk behind her back, I'll support her.
I usually hang out with my other friends during school. Recently, she has matured a bit and started being a little nicer to everyone. I hope that your friend, Jimbob sees the light. People do change.
Rugby. I think I understand how you feel about that too. Except with me, it's drama. I love drama and I try to be in every production that I can. I'd like to "make it big." It's my dream.
Nothing is to low for me either. I'll do whatever I can. I'd stick with your rugby team, Jimbob, or stick with them until a better opportunity comes up. In drama, there's several people who think that they're the kings of the world and act like ***es whenever they can. I don't try to stop them, but I don't join them. I do my part, and I do it well.
4. I'd say 2, but that wouldn't be true. I'm putting off a load of homework that I won't be able to finish so that I can be here.
The other day in drama, I told a funny joke to one of the newcomers. He went off and told it to the higher-ranking drama people and got all of the credit. It happens sometimes, and it sucks.
Being ignored is a tough one. I used to feel that way a lot. It passed and I have a close group of friends that pay attention to me.
I don't know what I can say or do to help that, Jimbob, but if it would make you feel better you can always PM me if you want to talk. I'd be happy to listen.
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Post by jake on Oct 14, 2006 22:12:30 GMT
Now, this is general now, forum, other places, offline, the lot. I generally feel 24/7 ignored. I know this is probably untrue and I do seem to bloody complain about this loads but I can't help it. I know I've just posted a new chapter of Curious Incident, but I'd like to say I ain't having a cheap shot on getting praise, I'd like to say. I feel generally ignored. I remember once offline I said something funny (what it was it slips my mind) and then another person tells him it, he's laughing in hysterics and praises him for it (bloody charming I tell you...). Here I can think of a few, but I won't name cos' that would be siwwy (I'm hoping no-one thinks I'm having a blood cheap shot on getting praise, I don't even know I think should I be saying I'm not either. I confused I swear!). Half of me thinks I'am ignored or generally looked other, the other thinks that I'm just thinking it. How on earth can I stop thinking I'am? It's getting on my bloody nerves recently! I feel like that too mate. You're not the only one feeling that way. Today, I just posted up the teaser for Famous Engines. Alaric said something in the thread, and Christopher, Chris, Blue Pioneer and Crscott said something to me over MSN. Aside from that, it's been dead
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Post by Cläy on Oct 14, 2006 23:27:24 GMT
OK... Point 1 - School: Tricky. I never really had a huge amounts of friends in school, but generally speaking, they acted the same way in and out. Just tell your mate how you're feeling about his attitude and ask him to tone it down somewhat. Point 2 - Rugby: You were on a hiding to nothing if the decision to make you captain wasn't popular. BUT - as has been said, talk to your coach about the players. Talk to their parents at training. Go around and make your feelings known - heck, even go and talk to them and ask them, even though you're no longer captain, to stop thinking of themselves and try to win as a team. I don't understand rugby myself, but... I am 4) Mad. Point 3 - Ignorance: Well, the obvious thing to say is that quite a few people are taking note of you in this thread and trying to help a friend. But regarding fanfiction and such, Just because people don't comment doesn't mean that they're not reading. I know that's basic, I know that's simplified, but in my opinion, stuff like "Good work Jim" and nothing else is worse than nothing because they're not telling you why they thought it was good work. And is you're really worried, look at Gifted (I know it's mine, but that's why it stands out so much to me) - 29 replies, all story, and about 180 views (of which half would be me going in and editing and posting). Bupkus feedback. Spits me to tears, but you have to try to not worry about it - you're doing it for yourself. Sorry for getting off track and onto me there. Although I must admit I haven't read Curious Incident... Point 3.A - Ignorance (Alaric's response): I hate to say this, but I'd guess that 7 of those 9 out of 10 people only read/download/whatever because it's you. I know you can't do anything about it, but it can get a little depressing seeing nothing for months of hard work and then BAM - "Oh, Alaric's done something! How good is it!?" Point 3.B - Ignorance (Jake's response): Well, it's only been up for 5 hours, and already you've had 6 people comment on it. That's hardly 'dead', is it? Yeah, being ignored (mainly on here, and mainly the IWs) on here kills me when I see a lot of praise for other IWs and Gifted doesn't even get a brass razoo. The best thing to do is to plough on regardless. Be yourself.
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Post by Alaric on Oct 15, 2006 0:02:19 GMT
Point 3.A - Ignorance (Alaric's response): I hate to say this, but I'd guess that 7 of those 9 out of 10 people only read/download/whatever because it's you. I know you can't do anything about it, but it can get a little depressing seeing nothing for months of hard work and then BAM - "Oh, Alaric's done something! How good is it!?" But Jim's a highly respected and talented forumer, so logically he should get that more than me, which is why I suggested it. And if I can offer you some advice Halford, I'd say don't worry about Gifted. In my opinion, the forum isn't the right place to tell it. I don't think the audience for it is here. It's a very complex story on a board concerned mostly with stories about talking engines and the like. Plus, it's very long, which I think is off-putting to the newcomers. But look at 'Baking and Baker Street', for example. That's been given rave reviews from everyone who's read it. So it's obviously nothing to do with how you write, or how people see you or anything like that. It's just that that's the kind of work people'd prefer to read. So I wouldn't worry about Gifted. I know you're not getting feedback, but someday you'll get it published and it'll get great reviews and a huge fanbase and then all will be right with the world.
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Post by stepneydude on Oct 15, 2006 0:20:45 GMT
Lol, this is exactly why I wrote a Salmon chapter about members noone cares about (no offence to members featured in the chapter.). As Dragonfox said, everyone cares about the bigshots like Ryan and Alaric and everyone else is left behind. Let's say a new member joins today and posts an idea for a magnificent storyline that could probably make a TV series if dedication was put into it. Now let's say Alaric does it instead. Who's going to read which one the most? In fact, I even planned to ask Alaric to write a Salmon chapter since it's dying a bit.
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Post by 01Salty on Oct 15, 2006 0:29:20 GMT
I agree, my own series 'Down on Poppy's Farm', which happens to also be about alive vehicles, hasn't noticed much at all except for about two people. In fact, I plan to publish the stories, so maybe I might get more attention there.
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jw24
Goods Engine
So the Old Iron caught you, after all
Posts: 337
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Post by jw24 on Oct 15, 2006 0:38:09 GMT
I have a problem. I'm already a sophomore and my parents are overstressing many things in order to get in a college. They don't expect me to have standards of top schools. But one thing is that my parents are constantly overstressing community service. As of now, they've signed me up as a volunteer for a library and want to start right away. But I'm not comfortable with it. I feel that I should find something to volunteer that I'm interested in but my parents don't think that way. They said to just do it and when I tried to express my opinion, I was cut off and they threatened to never listen to me again if I said anything about refusing to volunteer there.
So I have two questions
1. Should I find something else that I'm interested in volunteering for or should I just suck it up and follow their plan?
2. If my parents don't want to hear my opinion, how can I voice my thoughts so that they can understand my case?
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