gotSTEAM?
Branch Line Engine
Still dreaming <3
Posts: 1,234
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Post by gotSTEAM? on Mar 23, 2006 3:00:15 GMT
My best advice, don't go looking too hard. There is someone out there for everyone, and if you seek a relationship for the sake of it, it's not a good idea. A piece of advice for everyone here. People waltz in and out of your life all the time, your surroundings change all the time also, and at some juncture, you will meet someone who you click with. It might even happen several times throughout your life. The fact is if you're conciously seeking someone (or ANYONE) for fear of being alone it will harm you in the long run. Go out with friends and enjoy yourself, relax and talk to people. Confidence is an attractive feature, and it draws people in, and when they feel comfortable with you, they will start to want to be with you more. I am so going to print that out and give it to my friend, she could use that advice! Sometimes I don't know what I want. Sometimes I want to be in a relatonship, but I'm too scared to open up. Now I have confidence, and I'm a nice person, but I have a real problem with shyness. Although I'm crushing on someone right now...*meep* ~Elizabeth
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Locomotive
Passenger Engine
Giving a Cheerful, "Toot-Toot", Farewell and Goodbye! ^_^
Posts: 593
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Post by Locomotive on Mar 23, 2006 7:52:02 GMT
My best advice, don't go looking too hard. There is someone out there for everyone, and if you seek a relationship for the sake of it, it's not a good idea. A piece of advice for everyone here. People waltz in and out of your life all the time, your surroundings change all the time also, and at some juncture, you will meet someone who you click with. It might even happen several times throughout your life. The fact is if you're conciously seeking someone (or ANYONE) for fear of being alone it will harm you in the long run. Go out with friends and enjoy yourself, relax and talk to people. Confidence is an attractive feature, and it draws people in, and when they feel comfortable with you, they will start to want to be with you more. To be onest Ryan, I AM afraid of (forgive me for using the word) dying alone, this is why I am searching, and its not easy no matter what I do (Such as I have countered my shyness, but not my problem with encountering groups). All the same, I have reconsidered the idea of finding love in a Pub and thats one thing. I think what is raising my fear as mentioned above is the fact that I am no good at meeting new people, although I would gladly open up to anybody, but at the same time I dont want to be with somebody who is going to dump me in less than a week for whatever reason. More importantly, I have had a crush on 3 people so far (excluding TV characters but thats a different story), and with each one something went horribly wrong. I do not like the feeling that the reason I havent found love yet is because I keep messing up. *sigh* but if this is what I must do, then I might as well play along. It wont be easy, but hopefully someday it happens. Meantime, I best forget about it, which is something playing on countless console games can do..........Digimon World 2 ROCKS!!!
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Post by primus on Mar 23, 2006 11:41:38 GMT
I've felt the same way on many occasions and looking back, have probably missed out on love with someone else a few times through shyness or not reading the signs. The fact that you have thought about meeting someone in the pub is good. You could always try going ten pin bowling or the cinema with a group of friends that are mixed. That way you can have a good laugh with people you know and have more chance of letting lasses see who you are for real. That way you also don't have to appear (and probably won't) shy because you are with people you know. It certainly isn't easy, i know as i've been there. Ryan put in such a better way than i ever could. Things change and so do people. Go with the flow.
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Post by Ryan on Mar 23, 2006 13:08:55 GMT
Right back with what Primus said there. I'll delve into personal experience here.
I've never conciously sought a relationship when I'm single. I've never got up one morning and said to myself, "I'm going to find someone I want to spend the rest of my life with!"
When I go out with my friends, I'm out to spend time with them, have a laugh and enjoy myself. If I see someone I'm interested in, I'll talk to them. Nothing too strong, just polite conversation and crack a few one liners to ease the tension a little. If I don't see anyone I'm interested in, I look on the bright side of things.
But like Primus says, it's ALWAYS better to go with the flow and read the signs. Don't be concious and think of all the things that could go wrong in your life. You look on the dark side of life, then you'll be a miserable wreck.
And believe me, this is the words of a man who got dumped last week! I spent a day moping around until I choose to look on the bright side of things, and observe the positives of every situation, because there ARE positives from every situation. The split couldn't have come at a better time, now I can concentrate on my own wants and needs solely in the run up to my exams without the added distraction of someone else in my life. I know that sounds selfish, but it's true. And aside from that, we just weren't right for one another and better off as friends.
Anyway, love is out there. And in the numerous times it's happened across my path, sometimes it can creep up when you least expect it, or even when you've not been conciously seeking it.
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Locomotive
Passenger Engine
Giving a Cheerful, "Toot-Toot", Farewell and Goodbye! ^_^
Posts: 593
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Post by Locomotive on Mar 23, 2006 17:28:31 GMT
I know, I have moaned about plenty of things in this subject before, but here are quite a few things I have learnt about myself that arent really attractive.
One of the most common things about me (And I'm sure you can relate to this Ryan) is that I always get caught up in my college work, and as I have said, its not something I enjoy. Sure I crack a few jokes to my support staff during lesson, but not only is the only girl in my IT not taking any notice, shes already taken. All I want to do in the end is do as well as I can and go home, and even worse, I have to put up with a certain someone on my transport who apparently cant leave me alone and decide to throw rubbish at me (yesterday he even threw a penlid at my eye, but this is different). My point is, I am completely miserable in College, so its hard to show myself as the bright, cheery and funny person I am.
I can relate to a lot of things though, if there were a group of girls watching me battle on Super Smash Bros melee, watch me YuGiOh duels, and my most powerful accet, Battle it out on the Pokemon games (With the reputation of 2nd best trainer in all the Mersy on top of that!), then this will hopefully attract them in some sence and would love talking to me when given chance. The only problem is is that there arent a lot of people in the club I go to, and thats the only place I do those things outside my house.
best I can do really is just try and be happy the entire day and pray something happens, I would be happy enough just having girls whitness even one Pokemon battle, but there isnt anyone to compete against anyway.
Thinking this through, most of the advise I have been given so far is useless until I actually DO fall in love, which will come in handy when making sure nothing goes wrong (unlike my other crushes), but yeah, I think thats all I can do right now, try and enjoy myself and wait. Not much, and might be saying "You'd have a better chance getting your imaginary friend back" (Different story, and dont worry this isnt going to happen), but its the best I can do. One thing I must promise myself the next time I go out somewhere, Dont forget to take the Brick with you (He has done lots, I got a lot of good Pokemon cards carrying THIS around) (wait, then how did I get Ho-oh EX? Hmmmm, nevermind it will come in handy anyway).
Again, thanks for the advice!
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Post by Old Square Wheels on Mar 23, 2006 22:19:31 GMT
Ryan has a point; moping over it constantly doesn't do yourself any favors. Just a few weeks ago I was rejected (she said she just wanted to stay friends), and for a couple of days it really got me down. But then I decided to try and look more positively on the situation. I knew that if I kept moping about it, then eventually, we might not even be friends anymore. So I always tried to remain in a positive mood whenever I was around her, and it payed off; conversation between us gradually became less awkward, and she even wanted to catch up with me over the holidays; which happened just yesterday. So basically, "When you're feeling in the dumps, don't be silly chumps; just perch your lips and whistle, that's the thing!"
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Post by RustyFanatic05 on Mar 24, 2006 2:00:11 GMT
I've been in this type of situation before, believe me. I remember this boy had asked me out. We danced together at school dances and laughed together. He was like an angel to me. He practically took my breath away! Then, my nightmare, becomes reality. The boy that I will ever love breaks up with me. I then find out from one of his friends that he had went out with me for a bet of about $100. I was broken hearted. My eyes were cloudy and red from me crying all the way home. I remember climbing into bed and sulking and sobing as if the world were coming to an end. My friends came over and comforted me. Once I dried my eyes, I realised something. I wasn't "out of love". I wiped the excess tears and smiled, as I began looking at the more bright side of things, for I knew that I would find love again. And I was right. Soon after we broke up, another guy asked me out. We are still going out, and we are both happy with eachother. Just proves, never lose hope. No sense sulking over someone who breaks up with you. And love does indeed find you.
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Post by bobwinkle007 on Mar 24, 2006 2:21:25 GMT
I like this forum. But to my knowledge it hasn't talked about how to break up with someone. I'm dating this girl right now, but I want to break up with her. It's not like I hate her, I'd just rather be friends. It's almost a little awkward dating someone that you just consider a "friend". So how do I break up with her nicely without hurting her feelings? I've done it once before and I don't want to make that mistake again. Her birthday comes up soon and I'd hate to break up with her before then and ruin it for her. That'd just be cruel. I feel a little awkward asking you guys about this, but I'll take as much help as I can.
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Locomotive
Passenger Engine
Giving a Cheerful, "Toot-Toot", Farewell and Goodbye! ^_^
Posts: 593
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Post by Locomotive on Mar 24, 2006 8:19:39 GMT
I like this forum. But to my knowledge it hasn't talked about how to break up with someone. I'm dating this girl right now, but I want to break up with her. It's not like I hate her, I'd just rather be friends. It's almost a little awkward dating someone that you just consider a "friend". So how do I break up with her nicely without hurting her feelings? I've done it once before and I don't want to make that mistake again. Her birthday comes up soon and I'd hate to break up with her before then and ruin it for her. That'd just be cruel. I feel a little awkward asking you guys about this, but I'll take as much help as I can. This isnt from personal experience, but I am quite clever when it comes to thinking ahead. First of all, do it about a week after her birthday, that way she wouldnt be too much upset, so good to wait a while. Then, try and get in a private conversation with her, and start by telling her that you like her a lot, just that you'd prefer to be just friends. Say it in a nice way, and explain why you dont want to be in that level, and you MUST explain to her that you dont hate her or think less. Also say that you will always be her friend, and dont just say it, do it! if she starts getting upset, then try and comfort her a little, say things that will cheer her up, buy her a drink even, doing those things will show that you still care, and it will show her that you are still a true friend. Let me know how it turns bobwink'
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Post by neville on Mar 24, 2006 22:36:01 GMT
I had to do that once, but I messed up. Anyways, Katie, the girl AKA prom date, brought pics of her horse show, but I was too darn shy. I guess I AM a Murdoch. But, we both have been busy with several things in our lives and I'll see her Sunday. Since 6 Flags called me back, I am going to be able to ttake her there and I am excited to take her. She knows I'm not all big and brave and she likes that.
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Post by bobwinkle007 on Mar 25, 2006 3:09:15 GMT
I like this forum. But to my knowledge it hasn't talked about how to break up with someone. I'm dating this girl right now, but I want to break up with her. It's not like I hate her, I'd just rather be friends. It's almost a little awkward dating someone that you just consider a "friend". So how do I break up with her nicely without hurting her feelings? I've done it once before and I don't want to make that mistake again. Her birthday comes up soon and I'd hate to break up with her before then and ruin it for her. That'd just be cruel. I feel a little awkward asking you guys about this, but I'll take as much help as I can. This isnt from personal experience, but I am quite clever when it comes to thinking ahead. First of all, do it about a week after her birthday, that way she wouldnt be too much upset, so good to wait a while. Then, try and get in a private conversation with her, and start by telling her that you like her a lot, just that you'd prefer to be just friends. Say it in a nice way, and explain why you dont want to be in that level, and you MUST explain to her that you dont hate her or think less. Also say that you will always be her friend, and dont just say it, do it! if she starts getting upset, then try and comfort her a little, say things that will cheer her up, buy her a drink even, doing those things will show that you still care, and it will show her that you are still a true friend. Let me know how it turns bobwink' Ah! Using common sense and being polite! Why didn't I think of that? Thanks, locomotive. I'll let ya'll know how it goes.
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Post by Ryan on Mar 25, 2006 14:52:46 GMT
One word of caution though Bobwinkle, whatever way you break up with this girl, it's still going to be a painful experience for her and possibly awkward for you.
Put out a few feelers first, be subtle in your approach to doing this before you finally tell her how you feel. People can tell a lot from your body-language and actions.
I suggest having a long talk with her first. Don't break up with her on the strength of how you feel now, if there's a chance to give her a glimmer of hope to spare her feelings then take it. If things are no better, she'll aware of how you feel, and more than likely she'll begin realising it too and her feelings will change, therefore it'll be easier to break up with her.
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douglas
Main Line Engine
Posts: 2,256
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Post by douglas on Mar 25, 2006 16:22:15 GMT
I just broke up with my girlfriend. She was avoiding me for the past few days, but at the "winter carnival" (our big dance, this year it was disco-themed) we made up, and she even slow danced with me! I really had the chance to be a playa, so I ended up dancing with 10 different girls!
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Post by dragonfox on Mar 25, 2006 16:43:03 GMT
I just broke up with my girlfriend. She was avoiding me for the past few days, but at the "winter carnival" (our big dance, this year it was disco-themed) we made up, and she even slow danced with me! I really had the chance to be a playa, so I ended up dancing with 10 different girls! Then, why did you break up after you had re-united at the dance?
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douglas
Main Line Engine
Posts: 2,256
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Post by douglas on Mar 25, 2006 18:28:21 GMT
Well, we're not oing out anymore. She has a new bf. And no she is not cheating.
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Assassin
Branch Line Engine
Posts: 1,255
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Post by Assassin on Mar 25, 2006 19:10:08 GMT
I've been in this type of situation before, believe me. I remember this boy had asked me out. We danced together at school dances and laughed together. He was like an angel to me. He practically took my breath away! Then, my nightmare, becomes reality. The boy that I will ever love breaks up with me. I then find out from one of his friends that he had went out with me for a bet of about $100. I was broken hearted. My eyes were cloudy and red from me crying all the way home. I remember climbing into bed and sulking and sobing as if the world were coming to an end. My friends came over and comforted me. Once I dried my eyes, I realised something. I wasn't "out of love". I wiped the excess tears and smiled, as I began looking at the more bright side of things, for I knew that I would find love again. And I was right. Soon after we broke up, another guy asked me out. We are still going out, and we are both happy with eachother. Just proves, never lose hope. No sense sulking over someone who breaks up with you. And love does indeed find you. "Always look on the bright side of life...*Whistles*" Good for you, don't let losers like them get you down, why if I did that I'd be dead from frusteration by now.
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Truro
Branch Line Engine
Posts: 1,041
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Post by Truro on Mar 25, 2006 19:34:23 GMT
I've just got back from a date with my new girlfriend, Sally ;D We met up at Victoria station, and had a cup of tea. Then we went to the cinema, to watch The Pink Panther. After getting lunch, we went to the Lock, looking at the boats. She's pretty, friendly, and has a beautiful smile. Life is certainly good ;D
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Post by dragonfox on Mar 25, 2006 20:17:02 GMT
I've just got back from a date with my new girlfriend, Sally ;D We met up at Victoria station, and had a cup of tea. Then we went to the cinema, to watch The Pink Panther. After getting lunch, we went to the Lock, looking at the boats. She's pretty, friendly, and has a beautiful smile. Life is certainly good ;D *old lads cheer* Well done, Truro! Still no luck from the Brummie muggin here. Tim even said that to get a girl to like you, you must go over to her and ask for a hug, listen to their type of music and crack jokes. Now, cracking jokes I'm good at, but there is no way in hell I'm going to ask for a hug or listen to their so-called 'music' (See 'Your views on modern music' thread in the Music Board to find out what these girls, and everyone else, listens to). Mind you, it worked for him (he's now hooked up with the prettiest girl in school, though that's not MY opinion ).
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Post by 01Salty on Mar 26, 2006 8:56:24 GMT
I've MORE Questions: If we do go out, do I have to see her or go out with her regularly? When we do go out, do I wear a tux, or just nice clothes? Do I have to spend all my money on her? Can I use poetry or compliments a lot? I need more help
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Post by Old Square Wheels on Mar 26, 2006 9:22:48 GMT
I've MORE Questions: If we do go out, do I have to see her or go out with her regularly? When we do go out, do I wear a tux, or just nice clothes? Do I have to spend all my money on her? Can I use poetry or compliments a lot? I need more help 1. You don't neccessarily have to go out places on a regular basis; you could just go to her house, or her come to your house. 2. Just nice clothes; tuxes are only for very formal occasions 3. No you don't; some perhaps, but not ALL 4. Compliments are alwasy useful; writing poetry isn't neccessary though
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