Smitty
Goods Engine
Yes, now my profile isn't an eyesore. x.x
Posts: 181
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Post by Smitty on Mar 17, 2006 3:16:13 GMT
Uh..... I've never had a girlfriend. I need advice. This statement seems exaggerated, and cliched, but I really want to become involved in a relationship? Any help?
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Post by edwardblue on Mar 17, 2006 4:32:03 GMT
I've never been in love with someone else, though I did ask this cute girl I liked to my high school prom last year. Even though, we aren't dating, we still keep in touch regularly through e-mail. And like the other Ryan (that's my real name too.) said, love will always find you. So if it hasn't found you yet, don't worry, there's still time.
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gotSTEAM?
Branch Line Engine
Still dreaming <3
Posts: 1,234
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Post by gotSTEAM? on Mar 17, 2006 4:58:18 GMT
Me? Love life? Don't make me laugh! I'm too weird and shy to trust guys, at least as dates. I'm better off hanging out with guys because other girls make me very nervous (not to mention very irritated). Heck, tons of girls have accused me of being a lesbian because I've never dated. And some girls think I 'sleep around' because I tend to hang out with guys! It's a shame, really. Now, I'm not saying that I wouldn't go out with someone. I'm sure some nice guy will come along someday...maybe. I have nothing in common with the general population - I only fit in with the world on this board Not to mention I don't go enough places each day to find people (or have them find me). This is next bit is going to shock a lot of people, since all girls have had a crush sometime in their life... I've never had a crush on anyone, not one person, not even for a minute. I can think a guy is cute, but not feel anything more ~Elizabeth
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Locomotive
Passenger Engine
Giving a Cheerful, "Toot-Toot", Farewell and Goodbye! ^_^
Posts: 593
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Post by Locomotive on Mar 17, 2006 9:08:01 GMT
Ok, I might have said this before at some point, but even if I havent I have a great way of explaining my situation.
First of all, instead of saying College lets say "Yard" and use Steam engines and diesels as examples.
Right, I begin by saying I am a Class 35 diesel (same as Bear) who likes Anime, and I am very nice and love a good laugh. Although the other engines like teasing me around and sometimes do things that either annoy or upset me. Because of this, I am also a quiet person when around strangers.
Most of the other diesels are mean and inconsiderate, especially in my yard. In the sheds there are a lot of female steam engines, and as much as I would love to talk to them there are several things that get me not to. 1. Like gotSTEAM has mentioned, all of the other diesels are mean and nasty, and because I am a diesel, they may not even want to talk to me, or maybe accuse me of being one of the nasty ones. 2. As I have said, I am very quite, so trusting another person is hard. I dont quite want to get "coupled" to an engine who doesnt really like me, and would drop me like a brick if she thinks me wrong. Worse still, she may only want me to do her work for her, or want me for my "trucks", or even worse than that, she may only want me for my Oil (dont even guess what that is trying to explain) 3. talking to females would be nice, but what I dont want is a bigger engine coming up to me saying "What are you doing with my girl?" and give me a hard bump to play hard. in this yard, quite a lot of the engines are even attached to the nasty diesels, which kinda makes it harder to try and even talk to a girl, let alone try and attach to one 4. Again, opening up to a complete stranger is not something I am comfertable with, and being quiet and caring for my work is all I do in the yard. Because of this reason, the other engines might think I am a stuck up, which could make things worse
So its not easy being a diesel in my yard you see, I would love to talk to the other engines, but I am just too afraid, because alot of things could happen, and to be onest living in this yard isnt exactly something I enjoy doing.
any tips on countering these problems? if nothing else I want to get my act together so that if what Kate669 said is true, I need to at least try and open up to them when they come, and show that I am not like the other diesels. So thats all, hopefully my last post here explaining my love problems, sorry for being such a crybaby with this topic
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Post by RustyFanatic05 on Mar 17, 2006 22:42:07 GMT
Smitty-I'll be willing to give you advice if you give a few more details. Locomotive-First off, don't say that you're acting like a crybaby, because, you're not. You have mentioned that you are usually shy and quiet around strangers. Well, I can tell you that there is nothing wrong with being shy and quiet. However, if there is a girl, or in other words, female engines out there that you want to talk to, you have to find the courage inside of you to talk to them. You also mentioned that you're shy to talk to them because you're afraid that the guys will say something like 'What are you doing with my girl?" Well, to be honest, there is a slight chance that could happen, but the chance is .1% out of 99.9. You have to try and tell yourself that something like that won't happen. Locomotive, I know you have the courage to talk to these girls. You just feel shy. But if you tell yourself that you can do it, and believe in yourself, you will find yourself to be very successful with the girls. (you may even find a girlfriend)
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Post by FlyingScotsman on Mar 18, 2006 18:29:06 GMT
I'd reiterate Carly's advice. Locomotive. If you're nervous about talking to girls, remember- they won't shoot you down just for talking to them. And if anyone did, well, they'd be too shallow to be worth bothering with anyway.
jetengine65, my advice to you would be not to come on too strongly. To use a well worn cliche, play it cool.
smitty, I'd point out that unless you have someone specific in mind, it's a bad idea to go looking for relationships for their own sake. It may be (and slap me if I'm wrong) that what you seek isn't so much a relationship as confidence in yourself.
Anyway, must dash, but I'll be back in a few hours and will advise further if I can.
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Locomotive
Passenger Engine
Giving a Cheerful, "Toot-Toot", Farewell and Goodbye! ^_^
Posts: 593
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Post by Locomotive on Mar 18, 2006 20:07:26 GMT
Thanks for the advice guys, I'll use them to the best, I'm back at the yard this monday, even though I only get one hour lunch break because of breifing (which is the slang for Registration, which I might add is very annoying), but I get my work done, then have a good greasing, refueling and a new coat of paint (what a way to put it), I'll visit the sheds and see what happens. Meantime, theres some late night shunting I need to do (homework), so I better get that done first.
P.S. to all, feel free to use what I did to describe your life, its actually very hillarious comparing your life to a railway HAHAHA!! See? I feel better already, thanks Rustyfanatic05 and FlyingScotsman, you've both been a big help (Gives a friendly toot toot)
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Post by 01Salty on Mar 19, 2006 3:29:10 GMT
I've never had a girlfriend unfortunately I never worried about one up until now, where I kinda feel lonely, depsite the fact I'm one of 6 kids. I've had a few crushed throughout my school years, the first being in Grade 1 (Jessica. Very pretty was all I thought of her back then!) I moved schools in Grade 5, so all old crushes were lost. I'm now in Grade 10, and there are a few girls in my class and Grade 11 that I like, but I'm just too darn nervous to ask anyone of them out. Being a nerd-type person, rejection is common for me. Although, I am the smartest in the class, so I think that could help getting a girlfriend. There is a girl who likes me in my class, but I don't like her. Another predicament is one of the girls I like have been my 'arch enemy' for 4 years, being also very smart, ad competing for the dux trophy at the end of the year. I think the advice here is very helpful, but I have a question. Would I have to ask one of them, or wait until they come to me?
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Post by RustyFanatic05 on Mar 19, 2006 4:26:52 GMT
01Salty-I think that your best bet is to ask the girl, instead of waiting for them to come to you. By waiting for the girl to come to you, the girl may get an impression that you don't want to talk to her, and she may move on. By talking to her, she will know how you feel about her, and she may consider being your girlfriend. So my words of advice, ask her.
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Post by FlyingScotsman on Mar 19, 2006 15:42:48 GMT
Definitely ask her. Taking matters into your own hands gives you a far greater chance of success than simply letting events fall into place. Or, to put it more crudely, who dares wins.
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Post by 01Salty on Mar 19, 2006 21:13:55 GMT
Thanks you've helped a lot I'm just so nervous, I've never done this before. How exactly would I go about it? Would I found out who she likes first? Could I give her flowers? Should I do it subtle, or straight forward? I just don't know.
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Post by RustyFanatic05 on Mar 19, 2006 21:35:48 GMT
It's your choice, whether you want to give her flowers or not. Just go up to her, ask her if she'd like you be your girlfriend, and if not, if you can still just be friends. But before you ask her, be sure to tell her how you truely feel about her first. Then, ask the question.
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Post by FlyingScotsman on Mar 20, 2006 2:36:01 GMT
I'd suggest leaving the flowers until after you've actually asked her out, for the aforementioned reason of playing it cool. Funnily enough, flowers never seem to go out of style, even though they're the ultimate romantic cliche. I have never known anyone who wasn't happy to receive flowers. Even guys seem to like it. Strange but true.
However, if giving flowers, make sure it's not under circumstances where they'll be a nuisance (i.e. make sure she doesn't have to carry them around all day).
On an unrelated note, you know those relationships that you absolutely don't expect? I seem to have ended up in one of those. It's with someone who I originally didn't even consider in those terms, but she kinda invited me out for a casual drink, I said yes (it would be rude not to) and it's gone from there. Not that I'm complaining, of course...
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gotSTEAM?
Branch Line Engine
Still dreaming <3
Posts: 1,234
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Post by gotSTEAM? on Mar 21, 2006 9:19:09 GMT
Ok, people...I have an update...
It may just be a fleeting thing, as usual...
But...I think I might have a crush on someone. I'm not saying anything more...only that I'm quite scared and very shocked, and I like him *shudder*
~A very terrified Elizabeth
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Post by 01Salty on Mar 21, 2006 9:30:57 GMT
I've more inquries: Ok, if this girl says yes, where is it best to go? The movies, or a restaurant, or both? Should other people know about us? What's the best way to take her home? Should I meet her family and visa versa? Help please.
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Post by Kate669 on Mar 21, 2006 11:59:14 GMT
1. Why not ask her where she'd like to go? You'll gain some insight as to what she likes.
2. Sure. There's no reason to be shy.
3. The world is your oyster, so long as you both make it home safely. Your family (and almost certainly hers too) should know where you plan to be, just in case of an emergency. If your date takes you some distance from her house, bus fare is a good thing to have. A ride from a family member is even better...which brings me to:
4. Definitely. It's good to meet the parents ASAP. Again, part of it is the safety issue...if they know their daughter is with someone who will take care of her, they'll be more comfortable letting her go. Aside from that, I've always considered it common courtesy. (Mind you, this is coming from someone who has never even met her in-laws...)
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Locomotive
Passenger Engine
Giving a Cheerful, "Toot-Toot", Farewell and Goodbye! ^_^
Posts: 593
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Post by Locomotive on Mar 21, 2006 14:04:51 GMT
My progress report...
I tried to get my act together yesterday, and I tried to go up to them and see how it went on. but two things stopped me. 1. I dont usually order anything in the college refectory, but I went there because it would be the most likely place to meet them. But I couldnt order anything, and I dont want to sit in the refectory without a reason (food would tell them I am eating) 2. (the most important reason) they were in packs! and if I went up to an entire group then thats going to cause problems, the biggest would be they might think of me as an annoyance when all they want to do is talk to each other. Some groups with guys, which could make things worse (one of those guys could be in love with one of the girls)
My own opinion, love just puts more and more barriers to make sure I never have a chance of love, cause there is always "something" that gets me to hold back. I talked to someone about it, and hearing their suggestion, I have but two choices. Give up now and admit no one loves me at all and spend the rest of eternity alone Or risk my reputation and healthly lungs and take their advice and find "Odd ones out" inside a real Pub. I always saw Pubs as the "Factory of Violence", but what they suggested is if I go into a pub I can narrow down to what girls I would like by not looking into girls who drink, smoke or call people names. Talk about finding love in dark places, and if anyone I know finds me there they will assume the worse, making things just as worse on me.
Any advice on this or objections? I dont drink or smoke, which is part of the reason why I dont go in. any feedback would be nice, all in all this desperate search for a true relationship is getting harder
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Post by FlyingScotsman on Mar 21, 2006 15:41:28 GMT
It seems to me like you're saying "pubs or nothing". Pubs aren't the be all and end all of meeting people, particularly when it comes to actually forming a meaningful relationship. Example, the woman I'm currently seeing I met through my theatre club. Before that, the last one I met through friends. Really, you need to think in terms of who you'd like to date and where that sort of person would be likely to hang out.
Re pubs, they aren't actually that bad. You do get some total dives, but they're basically just a place to meet and have a drink. If you don't drink, just have a Coke or something. Nobody's going to complain.
01Salty, how about a movie, then dinner? (Hmm, that sounded unintentionally like I was asking you out. I mean for you and the girl you're asking out) The advantage dinner has over just going to see a movie is that you can talk.
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Locomotive
Passenger Engine
Giving a Cheerful, "Toot-Toot", Farewell and Goodbye! ^_^
Posts: 593
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Post by Locomotive on Mar 21, 2006 16:04:36 GMT
well, I dont exactly know any places I would exactly expect them to be, the places I go (apart from college) are basically stores, such as Model shops, collectable shops (that sell Manga, Poke-Cards and other cool anime or game related stuff) and of course, Waterstones, where I get my Railway series books.
I could still try the pub and see what happens, but at least its not a last resort. Thanks for the advice FlyingScotsman!
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Post by Ryan on Mar 22, 2006 23:21:57 GMT
My best advice, don't go looking too hard. There is someone out there for everyone, and if you seek a relationship for the sake of it, it's not a good idea.
A piece of advice for everyone here. People waltz in and out of your life all the time, your surroundings change all the time also, and at some juncture, you will meet someone who you click with. It might even happen several times throughout your life.
The fact is if you're conciously seeking someone (or ANYONE) for fear of being alone it will harm you in the long run. Go out with friends and enjoy yourself, relax and talk to people. Confidence is an attractive feature, and it draws people in, and when they feel comfortable with you, they will start to want to be with you more.
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