|
Post by RustyFanatic05 on Mar 7, 2006 0:17:42 GMT
The first step is to just relax. Take a deep breath. Shyness is a very hard thing to get over, I know that from personal experience. But if you shy away, she won't know how you feel about her. She may evenutally get the impression that you don't like her and she may move on to someone else. The next time you see her, and you feel that shyness coming on, remember, relax, and take a deep breath. Then, approach her in a friendly manner. Start off with something like "Hey, can I talk to you?" Then, once you have her attention, explain to her your true feelings. Then ask her if she would like to go out with you, and she just may, you never know. Just a suggestion. It may help you.
|
|
douglas
Main Line Engine
Posts: 2,256
|
Post by douglas on Mar 7, 2006 1:24:06 GMT
Well, I tells ya, if your crush is taken, be patient!
My current gf (the city girl I told you about in my previous post), about a month after I met her, starting dating this absolute dip who I hated. A sleazeball. And I had a major crush on her, but was too flippin shy to ask her out. So, I kep my crush going for the next year, also having a mini-crush on another girl, though. Finally, come this past October, she broke up with him (halle-****in-lujah) stormily apparently because he wasn't paying any attention to her.
So, about a month later (which she told me is her normal regroup period after a breakup), we are watching Clash of the Titans to end or mythology unit in Literature. She had been showing signs that she was interested in me. So, very shyly, I invited her to sit with me. About halfway through the movie, I slipped my hand under hers... and the rest is history! My patience was finally rewarded.
So, the moral here, boys and girls, is stick it out! You may get lucky like me!
|
|
|
Post by primus on Mar 7, 2006 11:18:12 GMT
Weeheeey! That is cool news. I didn't go looking for my fiancee. She had asked me out, i (stupidly) said no at the time, went out with someone else, didn't work, was gutted etc. I then asked my fiancee out and i released now that the one for me was always there when i wasn't looking. *Hits head against brick wall* Be yourself, don't worry about shyness as most of us at some point have suffered from it, go for it when it comes your way. As long as you're interested of course and you like the other person. And take your time to know them. That helps too.
|
|
Assassin
Branch Line Engine
Posts: 1,255
|
Post by Assassin on Mar 8, 2006 4:38:03 GMT
No girlfriend for me, and probably not ever! Oh well, I wouldn't want to get married and have a kid like me I think the reason no girls even get near me is that I suffer from low self-esteem. But I don't mind.
|
|
|
Post by FlyingScotsman on Mar 8, 2006 11:35:54 GMT
The suggestion I would make, and forgive me if I'm being a little presumptuous, is that you shouldn't let low self-esteem get the better of you. If you withdraw into yourself, people find it difficult to talk to you and may assume that you don't want to talk to them.
|
|
|
Post by Ryan on Mar 8, 2006 13:20:05 GMT
Somehow all I'm deducing from this is that some of you are suffering from peer pressure. You see other people your age with girlfriends and think you're different to them in a negative way.
It's the same for everyone at some point. Not always in the same context, but look at it this way, we always want attractive things that others have. Take me for example, I've got a perfectly good car at the moment which I love to bits. Yet at the same time, I see newer, better, flasher and more attractive cars on the road that I can ill-afford to buy. I've never even test-driven one of these cars, and my life is a happy one without them. Even if everyone had a better one than I did, I wouldn't complain, I'd make do with the positive things I do have in my life. Don't think you need to be in a relationship to be normal, and don't start one for the sake of it!
Right now I'm in a happy relationship, and have been for a month or so now. They came to me out of the blue and I'm happy, and it's been months since I dated before. Love finds you!
The fact is, you're not weird if you've never had a girlfriend or boyfriend. It's like my dad says, "What's for you won't go past you." - which effectively means if you meet the right person you'll know, and more importantly, they'll know. And for being turned down, as the George Michael song goes, "I can't make you love me if you don't, you can't make your heart feel something that it won't."
I'd sooner be with someone who wanted to be with me for the long haul than for nothing.
|
|
|
Post by Chris The Xelent on Mar 8, 2006 20:22:30 GMT
You know, I never thought of it quite that way. You do have a point there.
It's been nearly 3 years since I was last lucky, and what I've learnt since then is love only comes naturally. You can't just go out in the hope of getting a lover out of the gloom, cos the only ones you'll come accross are the ones who prefer sleeping with you for the night and then leaving you for some other poor sod. This I've allways tried to avoid, cos I know many people who've been buggered up by women in this way. And one day, just by waiting, I know the right one's going to come to me.
Besides, who needs love when your happy as you are.
|
|
Locomotive
Passenger Engine
Giving a Cheerful, "Toot-Toot", Farewell and Goodbye! ^_^
Posts: 593
|
Post by Locomotive on Mar 8, 2006 21:05:15 GMT
Tubthumping by Chumbawamba. *winks* I know how you feel, sweetie...more so than you think. The trick is to not go searching; they always come along when you least expect it! Just let things flow, and your time will come. Thanx Kate, that means a lot coming from you. and reading the text, yes that is the band being refered to I would go with your advice, in fact I am pretty much doing so right now, the only thing I fear is that I might not get a girlfriend because I wont be able to act. Whats worse is that I am not exactly a "happy person" at college, and I cant really change that because... A. I cant help being Cranky in the morning (I get up at 7am, have breakfast, wait for the taxi to arrive and head to another stressful day at college) B. As the above said, I get stressed with my work C. I have never been comfertable talking to strangers (most people at my college are chavs and idiots, I ignore everyone of them) Now, its not the fact that college has me worked up to even try that is scaring me, its the fact that I am so tied up in my work that people might see me as a bad person. So, I dont know what advice to take, I would wait, but it wouldnt be easy (again, too afraid nothing will happen). So again, I dont know what to do, except might as well wait and hope it happens. *sigh* well, at least I still have the dream (Hugs Alex doll from the old 1990's show "Insektors")
|
|
|
Post by neville on Mar 8, 2006 21:35:23 GMT
The suggestion I would make, and forgive me if I'm being a little presumptuous, is that you shouldn't let low self-esteem get the better of you. If you withdraw into yourself, people find it difficult to talk to you and may assume that you don't want to talk to them. True, for Katie, my prom date and crush, and me had the same problem. I am always wondering if she likes me, and I don't want to ask HER, so I ask her friends. If I have a problem of what she thinks of me, I ask her about it. I am very excited, for we are going to the movies this weekend and its my first "date" with a girl. She is very sweet and she likes that I take interest in trains. It took guts, but I asked her to prom and now we are not boyfriend/girlfriend, but I am asking her after prom. She likes horses, so I try to talk to her about them. She is shy like me, and I try to think this as a Thomas- Emily situation. She doesn't say much to me around school, but she talks to much alot on the phone and at church. Her parents are nice too. They think I'm the gentleman, which I really am. She came to my concert Monday and came up to me, so I know she cares for me. Anywho, whenever I tend to think I'm no good, I think of the song "Break My Stride". I realized that with a relationship, it isn't "just add water and presto"... it's learning who that person is and taking it slow. I have never been in love before and BOY DID CUPID GET ME! Can't stop thinking of her. Today... shhh, but I made a 63 on my Lit test and she made a 70 and I was upset, but she made me feel better. I was so happy to hear her words, I smiled and asked her about what time she wanted to go to the movies.
|
|
douglas
Main Line Engine
Posts: 2,256
|
Post by douglas on Mar 8, 2006 23:07:52 GMT
Great to hear, Neville!
I've been having dating troubles recently. My girlfriend was going around talking about other guys that she likes (popstars and the like) such as Teddy Geiger (rocker). So I asked my dad if girls were always like that. He told me that from his experience, they were, and not to worry because there's almost no chance that they would ever date their dream guy. That made me feel better.
Although I do suspect she has a crush on someone else, like this doofus who's a grade ahead. He's really funny and all, but he looks like the kind of kid who would beat you senseless if nobody was looking. I know he hates me, and I hate him. But, thankfully, he's taken. He's dating a girl in my grade, which is almost unheard of in my school.
BTW, anyone currently dating/have dated before have advice on how to fend off idiots that constantly try to flirt with your gf/bf? Although there's one kid like this in my grade, I did 'OWN' him a few days ago. Not hurt him physically or anything like that, just showd him who's boss.
|
|
|
Post by jake on Mar 8, 2006 23:50:03 GMT
Well, I like lots of girls, but none of them like me. Everytime I WANT to ask a girl to do something with me, I start sweating and choking on my words. I shake EVERY time I do it. I'm always trying to stay confident and positive, but it doesn't work. There was one girl though, who I REALLY regret not asking out. Her name was Katie. She had a face like Emily (NOT KIDDING ONE BIT!). She was so pretty, kind. She'd always dance with me, and she thought I was sweet. The VERY sad problem about it was when I'd try to talk to her, my friend Ronnie would say stuff like, "Ooh! Katie and Jake! My god! What are you guys gonna do tonight?" I'd get very cross with Ronnie. One day, Ronnie brought his guitar to school. I wanted her to hear me play, so I (literally) grabbed the guitar out of Ronnie's hands and started to play. She knew the song well and sang along. It was the greatest feeling ever. I had never played THAT well before, even when I'm at a jam session with my mate (and guitar teacher) Vic. It was the last day of school (also the last year of Year 8. After that, I changed schools. Left Jr. High to High School). She was in a Year behind me (Year 7 in this case) and I knew I wouldn't see her for a while. It was almost the end of the day. I didn't know how take the fact that she might say No. I wanted to ask her out SO bad, but instead I chose not to. Now she's changed schools and rumours are going round saying she might come back, but I'm not so sure. Biggest mistake I ever made was not asking out Katie. I'll never forget her.
|
|
|
Post by RustyFanatic05 on Mar 9, 2006 0:41:37 GMT
Sorry to hear about that Jake. Do not worry though. There are plenty of girls out there, and with that sweet kind personality of yours, I'm 100% sure that you'll find love.
|
|
Assassin
Branch Line Engine
Posts: 1,255
|
Post by Assassin on Mar 9, 2006 0:44:46 GMT
The suggestion I would make, and forgive me if I'm being a little presumptuous, is that you shouldn't let low self-esteem get the better of you. If you withdraw into yourself, people find it difficult to talk to you and may assume that you don't want to talk to them. No no no, you're not being presumptuous you're right! Thats probably the reason that I never get approached, I always try to keep to myself most of the time. Thats probably the best advice I've gotten in a long time. Thanks!
|
|
|
Post by FlyingScotsman on Mar 9, 2006 12:48:52 GMT
Great to hear, Neville! I've been having dating troubles recently. My girlfriend was going around talking about other guys that she likes (popstars and the like) such as Teddy Geiger (rocker). So I asked my dad if girls were always like that. He told me that from his experience, they were, and not to worry because there's almost no chance that they would ever date their dream guy. That made me feel better. Although I do suspect she has a crush on someone else, like this doofus who's a grade ahead. He's really funny and all, but he looks like the kind of kid who would beat you senseless if nobody was looking. I know he hates me, and I hate him. But, thankfully, he's taken. He's dating a girl in my grade, which is almost unheard of in my school. BTW, anyone currently dating/have dated before have advice on how to fend off idiots that constantly try to flirt with your gf/bf? Although there's one kid like this in my grade, I did 'OWN' him a few days ago. Not hurt him physically or anything like that, just showd him who's boss. Even if you're in a relationship, you're bound to think someone else is attractive. The real question is, would you actually try to go out with them? Nine times out of ten, the answer is no. In fact, if your girlfriend's telling you about other guys she finds attractive, it could be a sign that she trusts you and feels secure enough in the relationship that she can tell you that. Re other guys flirting with your girlfriend, I'm not entirely sure how to stop it completely. Two suggestions would be: 1. Make it clear, in a non-aggressive fashion, that the two of you are together. 2. Talk to your girlfriend about it and tell her, in a non-confrontational fashion, that it bothers you. The important thing is not to act like the jealous boyfriend, and to remember that flirting is not necessarily the same thing as hitting on someone. Ultimately, I remember what a friend of mine had to say on the subject. His girlfriend is incredibly good looking, and so always has guys trying it on with her. My friend's words were, "Well, I don't mind guys trying to flirt with her, because I know that at the end of the day it's not them she's going home with."
|
|
|
Post by dragonfox on Mar 10, 2006 16:17:27 GMT
UPDATE: After a whole week of stressing and being ignored, I had FINALLY come into contact with a girl today. We started talking, then joking, even teasing others a few times. Afterwards, I left with this girl's e-mail address! Things are looking up! It seems that everyone here are really inspirational and useful engines... err members. Oh, and here's a wee tip. Don't panic if your morale is low. In fact, use it when you have got a girl/boy in a conversation in a humourous way. It'll either make them laugh, or agree with you. (See, I'm doing it now.)
|
|
|
Post by FlyingScotsman on Mar 10, 2006 16:33:47 GMT
A little self-deprecating humour is an excellent way to break the ice. It shows that you have a sense of humour and you're not stuck up, as well as being open and honest. Just make sure that you don't make yourself sound too bad... Anyway, excellent news, and good luck!
|
|
|
Post by RustyFanatic05 on Mar 11, 2006 3:27:19 GMT
I've also found someone as well. I was at a dance, and this one boy asked me out. We laughed and danced together. Just when I thought that no boy out there liked me, I finally found love.
|
|
Assassin
Branch Line Engine
Posts: 1,255
|
Post by Assassin on Mar 11, 2006 4:02:53 GMT
I've also found someone as well. I was at a dance, and this one boy asked me out. We laughed and danced together. Just when I thought that no boy out there liked me, I finally found love. Thats great news! I hope you two stay happy together!
|
|
|
Post by neville on Mar 11, 2006 4:13:43 GMT
I had that date and it was FANTASTIC! It took a while, but I found a girl who likes me for who I am!
|
|
|
Post by jetengine65 on Mar 17, 2006 1:52:53 GMT
i have had a relationship but it only lasted 1 day cause she says she likes some one else no i like another girl but she thinks of me as a stalker and an annoying person please i need help what should i do?
by the way i cant stop thinking about her i burn for her!
|
|