An inspiring story
Sept 20, 2019 17:00:29 GMT
Stepney Boy55 and Ethan SD (TFT Productions) like this
Post by Parker Productions on Sept 20, 2019 17:00:29 GMT
Not sure where my post would be best suited in an existing thread, but I have a true story that happened to me this year and that I'd like to share it in the hope it will inspire confidence in people when faced with conflict in any situation:
(To give people a little background knowledge, I am currently a HE student studying a degree in Film & TV Production. During term-time, I have to stay in Halls of Residence on the campus. I have to share with other people, either UK or Foreign students who are studying A-Levels, BTEC courses, Apprenticeships (we have a lot of Jaguar-Land Rover apprentices who stay in Halls) or some kind of Further or Higher Education course.)
There's a couple of mentions regarding adult themes in this post so it would not be suitable for those under the age of 15, just incase you need a disclaimer. So with that established, I'll begin....
In early June, at 10pm, I had just finished shopping at the supermarket and was walking with a bag-full of essentials back to my Halls flat. As I was walking towards the building, I saw four lads congregating by the door entrance, smoking cigarettes (truthfully, they should have been smoking in the designated shelter about 10 feet away from them ). I happened to know three of them; two were foreign students and one was a JLR apprentice. My relationship with them was mild. We weren't friends, but we were acquainted from activities that the accommodation team provided for residents. They often act juvenile and silly, but they enjoyed seeing me and would stop and chat. The fourth lad I didn't know as well, but he was friends with the other three. He was an apprentice working for a telecommunications company.
Being my friendly self, I stopped to say hello and ask how their day had been. The conversation was going alright, there was a bit of banter and all seemed to be well. Then, the fourth lad (who I'm not going to name) uttered a strange comment to me. As it was out of the blue, I didn't understand so I laughed it off and put it down as another example of their extreme sarcasm (which I'm not very good at detecting sometimes). One of the foreign students asks me a question and as I'm replying to him, the fourth lad interrupts and comes out with an intimidating comment. I tried to resume my reply to the foreign student but the lad starts saying more intimidating comments towards me. I looked at him puzzled, wondering if he was joking and being sarcastic. Then, I looked back at the others and they were all looking very sheepish, as if they weren't expecting this at all. It dawned on me that this indeed wasn't a joke and the lad was being serious...!
I turned my attention to the fourth lad and asked "Are you alright mate?". Suddenly, he hurls a load of verbal abuse, calling me all sorts of offensive and derogatory names. He walked up to me in an intimidating manner until he was right up in my face. Realising things were getting serious, I stood my ground and held my head up high. I repeated my question to him. He then resorted to making threats, saying "d'you want me to knock you out?!" and "d'you want me to stub my cig out on your forehead?!". The other students were doing nothing to help me; they all just stood around looking very awkward . Already, I was thinking he might be under the influence of drugs or some substance making him behave like this. Truthfully, I couldn't smell any cannabis but I assumed he must have smoked it earlier before I came along as the lad's eyes looked dilated.
I tried to mask my concerns in a mocking way by saying he 'didn't look well', that he may be ill and that he should see someone about his "peaky looking eyes". Ofcourse, this was the wrong approach, but when you're in the heat of the moment, you end up reacting without thinking it through because you want to defend yourself. Thankfully, the lad moved away out of my face, still smoking his cigarette, and continued with the verbal abuse. I realised the mood had completely soured around the four of us so I picked up my shopping and went inside.
I walked inside my flat, making sure the door was closed behind me and that the lad wasn't going to turn around and have another pop at me. As I was unloading my shopping in the communal kitchen, I was mulling over the whole thing and whether I should report it or not. In the end, I decided that I would! I knew that even if the Residential Wardens said there was nothing they could do, at least they would be in knowledge of the incident should it repeat itself again in future. I'm pleased to say that the Duty Warden that evening was very grateful I did report it. They affirmed it was a very serious matter as threats to residents were a BIG no-no. The next day, I was asked to write a statement and they took my details. The accommodation team confirmed that my statement of events matched the CCTV footage they had acquired from the night of the incident.
As a result, the accommodation team suspended the lad from being on the Halls campus for a period of 1 year so he would be moving out immediately. They alerted his bosses about his wrongdoing to which they replied they would involve their HR department to investigate the matter further. The Team and Wardens assured me I wouldn't have to worry about being threatened again as a) my report would be confidential and b) the lad wouldn't be allowed on site for a year, by which the time his course demands him to move to a completely new area for training anyway.
The Team did say something important: that I should have ignored him and gone inside when he started being threatening instead of doing what I tried to do, otherwise I was in danger of rattling him up and worsening the situation even more. Unfortunately, the accommodation did not find any drugs when they searched his room and lad's bosses didn't find any trace of substance abuse or drugs in his system. So I was wrong on that - turns out he just had large shaped pupils.
BUT there IS something great that came out from this. Over the summer, I occasionally thought back to that incident, and wondered what might have happened to the lad. I came to the conclusion he would be given a disciplinary notice and that he would most likely be bitter and resentful about someone grassing up on him. Or worse, get the sack.
But in a surprising turn of events, I recently enquired with the team who sorted the case and they said, when the HR were carrying out their investigation, the lad actually confessed to his bosses he had been experiencing some big hardship and troubles at home. Apparently, because of my reporting, he's actually receiving help and counselling for his woes and hoping to be a better person! Hearing this brought a nice positive end on a story that seemed so unsavoury so it made me feel quite happy.
To finally conclude, something positive came out from an unpleasant experience. And a very important life-skill was learnt: reporting an incident doesn't just mean you're helping yourself, you're also helping others who need it, too! I'm quite relieved and pleased knowing I did the right thing. Had I not, things would have been a lot worse for the both of us. If you've managed to read through this far, and you find yourself or currently are in a position of conflict where you are unsure whether reporting an incident would be worthwhile, DO IT! You never know it may help the most unlikely person out when they desperately need it.
(To give people a little background knowledge, I am currently a HE student studying a degree in Film & TV Production. During term-time, I have to stay in Halls of Residence on the campus. I have to share with other people, either UK or Foreign students who are studying A-Levels, BTEC courses, Apprenticeships (we have a lot of Jaguar-Land Rover apprentices who stay in Halls) or some kind of Further or Higher Education course.)
There's a couple of mentions regarding adult themes in this post so it would not be suitable for those under the age of 15, just incase you need a disclaimer. So with that established, I'll begin....
In early June, at 10pm, I had just finished shopping at the supermarket and was walking with a bag-full of essentials back to my Halls flat. As I was walking towards the building, I saw four lads congregating by the door entrance, smoking cigarettes (truthfully, they should have been smoking in the designated shelter about 10 feet away from them ). I happened to know three of them; two were foreign students and one was a JLR apprentice. My relationship with them was mild. We weren't friends, but we were acquainted from activities that the accommodation team provided for residents. They often act juvenile and silly, but they enjoyed seeing me and would stop and chat. The fourth lad I didn't know as well, but he was friends with the other three. He was an apprentice working for a telecommunications company.
Being my friendly self, I stopped to say hello and ask how their day had been. The conversation was going alright, there was a bit of banter and all seemed to be well. Then, the fourth lad (who I'm not going to name) uttered a strange comment to me. As it was out of the blue, I didn't understand so I laughed it off and put it down as another example of their extreme sarcasm (which I'm not very good at detecting sometimes). One of the foreign students asks me a question and as I'm replying to him, the fourth lad interrupts and comes out with an intimidating comment. I tried to resume my reply to the foreign student but the lad starts saying more intimidating comments towards me. I looked at him puzzled, wondering if he was joking and being sarcastic. Then, I looked back at the others and they were all looking very sheepish, as if they weren't expecting this at all. It dawned on me that this indeed wasn't a joke and the lad was being serious...!
I turned my attention to the fourth lad and asked "Are you alright mate?". Suddenly, he hurls a load of verbal abuse, calling me all sorts of offensive and derogatory names. He walked up to me in an intimidating manner until he was right up in my face. Realising things were getting serious, I stood my ground and held my head up high. I repeated my question to him. He then resorted to making threats, saying "d'you want me to knock you out?!" and "d'you want me to stub my cig out on your forehead?!". The other students were doing nothing to help me; they all just stood around looking very awkward . Already, I was thinking he might be under the influence of drugs or some substance making him behave like this. Truthfully, I couldn't smell any cannabis but I assumed he must have smoked it earlier before I came along as the lad's eyes looked dilated.
I tried to mask my concerns in a mocking way by saying he 'didn't look well', that he may be ill and that he should see someone about his "peaky looking eyes". Ofcourse, this was the wrong approach, but when you're in the heat of the moment, you end up reacting without thinking it through because you want to defend yourself. Thankfully, the lad moved away out of my face, still smoking his cigarette, and continued with the verbal abuse. I realised the mood had completely soured around the four of us so I picked up my shopping and went inside.
I walked inside my flat, making sure the door was closed behind me and that the lad wasn't going to turn around and have another pop at me. As I was unloading my shopping in the communal kitchen, I was mulling over the whole thing and whether I should report it or not. In the end, I decided that I would! I knew that even if the Residential Wardens said there was nothing they could do, at least they would be in knowledge of the incident should it repeat itself again in future. I'm pleased to say that the Duty Warden that evening was very grateful I did report it. They affirmed it was a very serious matter as threats to residents were a BIG no-no. The next day, I was asked to write a statement and they took my details. The accommodation team confirmed that my statement of events matched the CCTV footage they had acquired from the night of the incident.
As a result, the accommodation team suspended the lad from being on the Halls campus for a period of 1 year so he would be moving out immediately. They alerted his bosses about his wrongdoing to which they replied they would involve their HR department to investigate the matter further. The Team and Wardens assured me I wouldn't have to worry about being threatened again as a) my report would be confidential and b) the lad wouldn't be allowed on site for a year, by which the time his course demands him to move to a completely new area for training anyway.
The Team did say something important: that I should have ignored him and gone inside when he started being threatening instead of doing what I tried to do, otherwise I was in danger of rattling him up and worsening the situation even more. Unfortunately, the accommodation did not find any drugs when they searched his room and lad's bosses didn't find any trace of substance abuse or drugs in his system. So I was wrong on that - turns out he just had large shaped pupils.
BUT there IS something great that came out from this. Over the summer, I occasionally thought back to that incident, and wondered what might have happened to the lad. I came to the conclusion he would be given a disciplinary notice and that he would most likely be bitter and resentful about someone grassing up on him. Or worse, get the sack.
But in a surprising turn of events, I recently enquired with the team who sorted the case and they said, when the HR were carrying out their investigation, the lad actually confessed to his bosses he had been experiencing some big hardship and troubles at home. Apparently, because of my reporting, he's actually receiving help and counselling for his woes and hoping to be a better person! Hearing this brought a nice positive end on a story that seemed so unsavoury so it made me feel quite happy.
To finally conclude, something positive came out from an unpleasant experience. And a very important life-skill was learnt: reporting an incident doesn't just mean you're helping yourself, you're also helping others who need it, too! I'm quite relieved and pleased knowing I did the right thing. Had I not, things would have been a lot worse for the both of us. If you've managed to read through this far, and you find yourself or currently are in a position of conflict where you are unsure whether reporting an incident would be worthwhile, DO IT! You never know it may help the most unlikely person out when they desperately need it.