Toby7
Shunting Engine
Posts: 73
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Post by Toby7 on Jan 26, 2012 1:49:41 GMT
Sorry to bump a thread that's been inactive for a few months, but I'm rather desperately in need of advice. Lately, it seems that I'm being haunted by bad thoughts. These are vile, repulsive, blasphemous, disgusting and horrifying, and ones that anyone with even the most basic sense of right and wrong would shake their heads at in dismay. I've tried everything I can think of to distract myself from them/stop them completely, such as reading, gaming, watching television, trying to think of good things whenever such a thought comes up, but I've had no success whatsoever (I'd try sports, such as biking, but the weather is unsuitable at this point). These thoughts are what ruined the later part of 2011 for me, and I don't want this year to end up the same way. Frankly, I'm not sure how much more I can take. Thoughts? Thanks! I think I can relate to that. I've had thoughts, and I don't think they were like the ones you described, but they were dark. I look back now and I was probably depressed. And not to sound like a religious fanatic, but what I did was pray. The thoughts I were haven were basically doubts of a supreme being and afterlife, and it honestly scared me. So I had a legit pray and literally it made me feel better. I don't know if this works for everyone, but I'd thought I would add my ten cents.
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Andrej
Passenger Engine
Posts: 871
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Post by Andrej on Feb 4, 2012 15:21:14 GMT
Sorry to bump a thread that's been inactive for a few months, but I'm rather desperately in need of advice. Lately, it seems that I'm being haunted by bad thoughts. These are vile, repulsive, blasphemous, disgusting and horrifying, and ones that anyone with even the most basic sense of right and wrong would shake their heads at in dismay. I've tried everything I can think of to distract myself from them/stop them completely, such as reading, gaming, watching television, trying to think of good things whenever such a thought comes up, but I've had no success whatsoever (I'd try sports, such as biking, but the weather is unsuitable at this point). These thoughts are what ruined the later part of 2011 for me, and I don't want this year to end up the same way. Frankly, I'm not sure how much more I can take. Thoughts? Thanks! I think I can relate to that. I've had thoughts, and I don't think they were like the ones you described, but they were dark. I look back now and I was probably depressed. And not to sound like a religious fanatic, but what I did was pray. The thoughts I were haven were basically doubts of a supreme being and afterlife, and it honestly scared me. So I had a legit pray and literally it made me feel better. I don't know if this works for everyone, but I'd thought I would add my ten cents. Well, I'm not the most religious person you'd meet, but I, too, prayed to end these thoughts, ultimately, however, to no success. I've been haunted by these thoughts September, and whenever I feel "Hey, it seems things are getting better"... a wave of disgusting thoughts and images comes back to me. If it's possible, it's gotten worse than ever before over this past week, and I'm truly stumped in finding a solution. Cheers for the advice though
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joez
Goods Engine
Posts: 151
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Post by joez on Feb 19, 2012 17:53:55 GMT
Hmm, I don't know much about the goings-on inside a person's mind, but I would suggest counseling or therapy of some sort. I'm sorry, but I'm not sure what else I could do to help.
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Post by Skarlouie on Feb 20, 2012 19:55:31 GMT
I have been worrying about a lot of things recently. I was wondering does anyone have any tips about how to cut down worrying?
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Post by Rusty Red Scrap Iron on Feb 20, 2012 22:16:20 GMT
I have been worrying about a lot of things recently. I was wondering does anyone have any tips about how to cut down worrying? Well Skarlouie, I've been down this road many times. What I tend to do, is whenever I'm ill or worried - I'd watch some classic episodes of Thomas (mainly from Seasons 1 - 3, sometimes 4 and 5). Then after a few episodes (three to perhaps five) I feel alot better - though of course it doesn't cure the actual illness of course, but it puts me in a better mood. It perhaps have to be Thomas, it could be something else (but Thomas usually helps me on some occasions, along with perhaps Superted, Charlie Chalk or even Fireman Sam). Another thing I do, is listen to music (mostly rock and heavy metal). Or you write about your troubles, either in Thomas Fan-Fic or what other interests you have. Think what your going through, put it into a story - and see how you'd write them out of the worrying and see if that helps yourself in anyway. Those are just my tips, I hope they help in anyway.
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Post by Little Engine on Feb 20, 2012 23:30:41 GMT
I have this problem I need to get off my chest. Why is it that in high school, if someone asks you if you have a girlfriend and you say no, that person looks at you like you have two heads? To make matters worse , my mom asks me if I've thought about getting a date for prom, to which I say no (Long story involving joining the junior class officers at my school and an obligation I didn't initially know about when I went for a position) then she gives me that usual "oh son you're handsome enough to get any girl you want sermon" but the thing is I don't think I'd be all that attractive to a woman. I can't tan, I have little sticks for arms, bushy eyebrows, and I look like a werewolf victim (and not the glittery kind). I'm afraid to go out and ask a girl because I worry most girls think I'm either gay or just plain creepy, and so I make the effort to repress myself everytime I feel attracted to another girl. Can someone give me advice as to how to break out of this cycle?
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Post by Ci on Feb 21, 2012 0:20:26 GMT
You are your own worst critic. Stop thinking about what everyone does or *could* think of you. Also stop trying to hold back so hard and just go with it. It's more work to try than it is to just let things come normally.
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Post by SammyPanda on Mar 19, 2012 0:14:52 GMT
To sum things up
Since I was 13, my best friend has been trying to date me. We both turn 18 in the Fall, so its almost 5 years now. I keep telling her I am flattered, but I only date guys, but it seems to go over her head. The tonight, I got this im:
Alice: -smiles- You are so cute lner44: Huh? Alice: -giggles- lner44: What? Alice: -sits on your floor- lner44: Yes? Alice: I want you lner44: for? Alice: -rolls my eyes- Alice: I want you to date me, and not guys lner44: why? Alice: I'm attracted to you lner44: Lol, pull the other one. Alice: Sam. lner44: Yes? Alice: I love you lner44: I love you aswell, and thats why you are my best friend
Im sure I am missing something here. I am trying not to loose it with her, but she wont take any damned hints that I am not intrested in the slightest. I've been gentle, rude, ignored her, been more clingy and nothing works! I'm worrying if it is her mental health, as she is bi-polar, and I think she may be creating the sexuality of mself, and the rest of me as two diffrent people and ignoring the fact I am gay..
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Post by Skarlouie on May 19, 2012 13:41:51 GMT
I am need of assistance from The SiF Casanova's/ Ladies men. I recently started going out with a girl I had fancied for a year and a half and everything was going fine! Until Thursday when she breaks up with me and says "there wasn't a spark". I know there was on the first few days I mean I had her heart racing when I called her "Beautiful" via Text so there must of been something there. We have broken up and decided to be best friends, but I don't want that, I know there is something there, I am planning to ask her out again once our exams have finished.
This is where I need your help, Should I ask her again (if so what should I say?) and What do you thing on the situation. Really need some help on this one!
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Post by ProfessorVengeance on May 20, 2012 20:53:38 GMT
The following post isn't exactly asking for advice, but it's something I've felt I need to just get off my chest for a little while now. Apologies for the long length and emo-ness in advance. I've been feeling pretty low on and off these past few months. Part of it is down to my jobhunting. I graduated in June 2010 with a first class media degree and started looking for a job proper after summer - not just media stuff, of course, but work in other areas like general retail, office admin, museums, libraries etc. When I found little success, I started signing on in January 2011 and got the chance to volunteer at my local Oxfam shop a few months later in April, where I've worked two afternoons a week ever since. It's a good gig. I get on very well with everyone and it's been a huge help in getting me through to interviews and final shortlists, though the amount of work I actually get to do can vary wildly from day to day. Some days I'm happily hopping between books, till work, accounting and more; others I struggle to find anything really useful to do that's not already been done. Soon, it'll be nearly two years since I graduated. I still don't have a job, I'm still on Jobseeker's Allowance, I now have to attend mandatory Working Links meetings every fortnight (which somehow manage to be even more pointless than my Jobcentre Plus meetings) and only about five or six of the dozens of applications I've sent out have led to actual interviews, none of which went anywhere, despite the few employers I've actually gotten feedback from saying I'd done everything right. They just always find someone ever so slightly better. I feel like I've reached a point where even looking at vacancies websites online fills me with gloom, because it all feels so pointless. All the jobs on offer will either be roles I'm vastly overqualified for or vastly underqualified for and, on the rare chance I do find jobs worth applying for, my CV will more likely than not be thrown into the void without even so much as a "We regret to inform you..." email in reply. Even worse, I'm worried that the job I eventually do get, God willing, will be one that I utterly despise and that, thanks to this awful economic climate, I'll never be able to get out of. I'm worried that I'll spend the rest of my life trapped in some dingy, crowded call centre at ungodly hours, surrounded by people who all hate my guts, trying to sell kitchen fixtures to pensioners who either scream abuse at me for hours on end, hang up at the sound of my voice, or both. At which point I get demoted for not making any sales and spend the rest of the rest of my life on the cleaning crew, being constantly pelted with ridicule and revulsion. And rubbish. OK, that's me being stupid, but you know what I mean. It's hard to feel the last fifteen-plus years of education were time and effort well spent if I'm just going to spend the rest of my life scrubbing toilets or sponging off benefits. All this is stressful and stupid on its own, and it probably wouldn't bother me as much if I still had a decent social life. Right now, I feel like my life in general has just stopped moving forward and petered to a standstill. I'm in exactly the same place now as I was when I left uni - sitting on my arse all day, mindlessly roaming the Internet and trying to find ways to occupy myself, occasionally broken up by trips into town, my Oxfam work and the odd friend meet-up when I can. Those who know me here personally know I'm a quiet guy all told. I tend to be a bit nervous or awkward meeting new people and I'm not that good at staying in touch. I lost contact with a lot of people after high school and, while I got on well enough with everyone, I only made a couple of real friends at uni. It doesn't the help that the closest friend I made there joined the army in January and I probably won't see him again until August at the earliest. I don't know. I turned 24 last month and yet I still feel like an anxious teenager. I still live with my family and save for when I house-sit for them each summer holiday, I've never truly lived on my own. I've never had a proper girlfriend. I've never learned to drive. My social circle currently consists of a tiny group of old school friends (Believe me, they've heard all this stuff before ) and a bunch of online friends from a couple different forums, a handful of whom I only get to see in person twice a year if I'm very lucky (i.e. you guys). I'm not on Facebook or Twitter or other social networking sites - partly for fear of wasting even more of my time online than I do already, partly for fear of screwing up my employment chances even further by accidentally saying or doing something stupid for all to see, and partly for fear of just not having anything to show for myself there compared to everyone else I've known. I mean, what is there for me to say about my life? "Monday: did nothing. Tuesday: did nothing." I don't feel I have the energy or drive to do things anymore, even the stuff I do for fun. I've always had a bit of a lazy streak when it comes to writing projects and such, but it's gotten ridiculous the last couple years. I have no shortage of ideas for things I'd like to write about, but it seems as though every time I open a word program to properly flesh them out and, y'know, actually write them, I'll lie back in my chair and go "Ehh, I'm too tired right now. I'll do it tomorrow." Of course, by the time tomorrow rolls round, I feel just the same as the day before and so it goes on. It's the main reason Tragic Failroad has taken an ice age to get written, though I've started really forcing myself to get this final episode finished the last few days. Still, it's pissing me off that the only times I genuinely want to write and create are when I'm as far away from writing and creating impliments as possible. Oy, this is long. I'm sorry for the wall of text, guys, and I really hope I'm not coming across as whiny or petty. The frustration's been building up for a while now and I just had to vent a little. I know way deep down there are worse things in life and that it's not all hopeless. For all my griping, I still have a good home and a good family, I'm still sending out applications where I can, I'm potentially up for an important (paid!) position at Oxfam (if my boss gets the go-ahead for her new placement, that is) and the friends that I do have left are truly great mates. I've made some of my closest friends through this forum, which is why I feel comfortable sharing this kind of angsty guff with you in the first place. You guys are awesome. Nuff said. Wow, I needed that. Shutting up at last, guys. Thanks for bearing with me.
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Post by Christopher on May 20, 2012 21:32:42 GMT
Steve, you have nothing to be sorry for. Truth be told, you've just described my life at present - even with my many contacts and social stuff on Facebook and / or DeviantART, I sometimes feel like I'm spinning wheels myself - at a point, even, when job hunting takes a major back-seat from me. 'cept I just shut up about my problems when there's always someone somewhere worse off... Best thing to do, as even I keep telling myself, is to just keep your head above water. Keep searching wherever possible, but don't try too hard to the point where you'll literally take anything that's available. Prolonged breaks from the computer screen always helps to keep the mind refreshed - a DVD, a short walk or a day out somewhere new. Just to shake up the "routine". Never know who or what you may come across. And so long as you keep your little notebook at hand, just keep a hold of any little ideas you'll come up with as you're a-wandering. Every little counts, after all Someday, somehow, fate will bless us all with good fortune, more often when we're not expecting it.
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Post by Ryan on May 20, 2012 21:42:23 GMT
Re: Job You'd Hate Been there. I've never been out of a job since I was 18, but ultimately, since I've left Uni, I've not advanced any further in my employment at all. When I landed the job in the Operating Theatres, I thought it was better than it looked. I ended up in the most monotonous job I have ever worked in with people I couldn't stand and hours which were horrible to work. Working 9 hour days four days a week, and coming out with a pittance of a wage every month. I was effectively working more hours for less cash than when I'd been working part-time.
It took a strain on my mental health, my confidence was low, my self-worth was shattered and I was taking it out on everyone and anyone.
Throughout the course of the 18 month period I was there, I applied for umpteen other jobs, and came within a hair's breadth of landing a £20k a year job. I never got it, and was completely crestfallen.
In February, the straw that broke the camel's back came and I decided to take a side-step. I applied for a job which is the same banding, but with more hours and greater flexibility in shifts in Mental Health, and got it. I was delighted to get the post, and now that I'm in it, I'm loving how much I can apply to what I've learned as a Social Science student, whilst observing and looking after the long-term patients in my care.
Best advice is never give up hope. Something will turn up, and I will give you something to try, Steve. It's going to be kooky, and completely out there, but please, by all means try it.
And remember also - we have an evening with Dick Valentine and his acoustic guitar on Friday night, so any troubles will be washed away in the course of merriment and banter from the Electric Six frontman!
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Post by OJ on May 20, 2012 22:25:45 GMT
ProfessorVengeance, how about doing some voluntry work in a field you want to work in? I've known people who have done just that and they are now in full time paid work. I am currently a volunteer admin worker and I really enjoy it. It's really helpful to me and to the place where I work. You can choose whatever hours you want after all it is voluntry.
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Post by StarTodd on May 20, 2012 22:32:05 GMT
Thought we did discuss this indepth on MSN tongith Steve, I think a little more has come to the surface in my thoughts since.... Firstly, don't become cooped up at your computer and the Jobcentre, obsessed solely in life with 'looking for a job'. It's very important, I will state that and freely. However the unemployment blues strike hard when you narrow your focus. It sort of drains your life - even that time when you wouldn't be working instead. A balance needs to be struck. Sigman said it rightly so - Best thing to do, as even I keep telling myself, is to just keep your head above water. Keep searching wherever possible, but don't try too hard to the point where you'll literally take anything that's available. Prolonged breaks from the computer screen always helps to keep the mind refreshed - a DVD, a short walk or a day out somewhere new. Just to shake up the "routine". Never know who or what you may come across.. Take a break and always let some time be free and carefree. Don't just rush into jobs either. I did the mistake of that and paid dearly for it working in the Pension Service. Let us just say, a poisonous office culture combined with low morale does not a happy workforce make. Chin up Steve - you're a good bloke and that'll be noticed soon. An observation is this....it's strange how age 24 seems to be a crisis year for quite a few people...having bene there.
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Post by Rusty Red Scrap Iron on May 21, 2012 13:06:05 GMT
Having read your problems, ProfessorVengeance, I can tell you that I know the exact boat you are in. Infact, I keep ending up in it myself - and I've been back in it since the end of October last year. Firstly - The Job Centre to me are (as the Fat Controller would only changing a certain three letter word to a four letter word: "Really Useless" (well at least the one I go too is). I don't believe some of the "advisors" actually care about helping you, no matter what they say when the TV Cameras are on them. I never take their word for granted. Secondly - Like you, PV, I'm also on the quiet side and find it hard to meet new people myself. With the writing part you mentioned, I'm exactly the same. Birng up word, say like: "Oh I'll write up This-This-And This." and by the end of the day, I've done nothing. So I totally understand that situation. Thirdly - As most others have already said, you can only Hold your head up high and pray for hope. Ever thought of saying a Prayer to the Lord? I've done some praying myself the last few months, true sometimes it hasn't always worked by the Lord Upstairs does listen. RailFox - I know what you mean about 24 seeming to be a crisis year, I think I can say that I'm one of those few people. Been through a fair few ups and downs at 24 myself.
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Post by ProfessorVengeance on May 21, 2012 21:41:05 GMT
Christopher: I know just how you feel, dude. Being stuck in a rut is never fun. I think I need to work a bit harder at spicing up my routine, rather than just sitting around all day and letting this guff pile up in my head. Truth be told, I was in two minds about posting last night, but it's felt good just to get it all out there. And you know if you ever need a bit of friendly banter or some more commissions to take your mind off your troubles, I'm here for you too, bud. Same for all you guys. I definately agree on longer breaks from the screen. I ususally try to get out the house at least once a week excluding my Oxfam days, wandering about town or something, but I think some more fresh air would really do me some good. It's a big world after all. No sense staying cooped up in front of the lappy all day every day. Funnily enough, I've actually been doing the notebook thing for a while now, even on some of our trips. Usually it's for funny names or word combinations I stumble upon that might make good character or story inspiration. Got quite the strange dictionary compiled by now. @ryan: I've said it before and I'll say it again, I couldn't be more delighted at how things have turned around for you, man. I know well how much that last job ate away at your soul and it's just awesome seeing how much happier you are now. Something to try, eh? If it's the thing you mentioned on the way back from the Severn Valley, I guess it's worth trying. Nothing to lose by it, anyway. If it's a bank robbery, don't bother, I already tried. Left my blunderbuss at home. Oh, and don't think I've forgotten dear ol' Dicky Boy. Been looking forward to this since we found out about it last year. Should be a blast, man. Bring on the noise! @o.J: I have poked about media companies for possible internships or voluntary work in the past. One of my biggest coups in recent months was managing to wrangle two days' observational work experience with the Comedy Unit. I got to help out compile and proof-read scripts for a radio sitcom and sit in on two of the episode recordings. Great people, great atmostphere, wonderful time. Maybe it's time to start dropping STV and the Beeb some more emails again... @doug: The actual job-searching part is funny. The amount of effort I put in tends to vary between sign-on dates. Sometimes, I'll be able to find a big bunch of interesting positions to tell the Jobcentre I've applied for, other times (like last week for instance) I either can't find anything worth my time or can barely be bothered even looking in the first place. I'm still waiting to hear back on several positions I applied to over the last few weeks, though, so you never know, fingers crossed. Honestly, I think my big problem is having too much time to be free and carefree. I've so much empty space to fill in any given day that I can never decide how to fill it and it all ends up going to waste (usually on the Interwebs!). I think I could use a couple more projects to busy myself with. I've got a shiny new birthday Xbox and games to get my brain and reflexes firing, and a bunch of lovely books I still haven't gotten round to ploughing through yet. Maybe I should bite the bullet and have a go dismembering that Hornby model I bought at the Severn too. At least it'd give you guys a laugh watching me mangle that Jinty into scrap. ;D And yeah, it's funny that age thing. 24: it's the new 30! Rusty Red Scrap Iron: Oh yeah, I've been there, my friend. In fairness, most of the actual people I deal with at both the Jobcentre and Working Links are nice enough, but it doesn't make the visits any less tedious. I think part of the problem is that they have to deal with so many claimants at any one time that they never have the time to properly delve into individual cases. I'm sure the fields of red tape they have to wade through don't help matters either. I'm generally not a praying man - I'm agnostic, myself - but I guess there's no harm in trying. I do talk to myself a lot, if that counts.
Thanks for your advice, guys. I'm going to bear in mind what you've all said. I've had a much less mopey day today, so I guess I needed that little venting back there. Thanks again for indulging me. I'll make sure your words won't be wasted.
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SRapi
Main Line Engine
Pronounced: Ess-Are-Ay-Pie.
Posts: 1,543
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Post by SRapi on Jan 22, 2013 5:07:29 GMT
Does anyone have any advice on resuming a dream once you've woken up? I've had many times where I have a fantastic dream and then wake up, and then go back to sleep to resume the dream again but I simply can't do it. Has anyone here had that experience who thinks there's a possibility to help?
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Post by Ci on Jul 16, 2013 3:38:01 GMT
Does anyone have any advice on resuming a dream once you've woken up? I've had many times where I have a fantastic dream and then wake up, and then go back to sleep to resume the dream again but I simply can't do it. Has anyone here had that experience who thinks there's a possibility to help? It's always the bad ones that tend to pick up where they left off, as opposed to the good ones where you've just won the lottery or have just achieved something great usually end ambiguously. My suggestion to you? Keep a notepad next to your bed and write them down. I do this a lot with my phone where I'll dictate what the dream was about. And now that I have a record of it when it resurfaces I'll know! Though usually my good dreams end with no real closure needed. Good enough.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2013 3:54:49 GMT
I have been battling a internal conflict for sometime.
Last winter, I interned at a high school and the band director was leaving. I was graduating and he wanted me to take the job. They kids loved me, the parents loved me and I was really happy there. I interviewed for the job along with about fifteen other candidates. Unfortunately a few days before Christmas, I was emailed (not called) and informed I wasn't given the position. It killed me. I did not cry. I just sat on my bed, in endless doubt. I am very passionate about music and education. I believe every person should know something about music, as it makes up our world. After I didn't get the job, I found out they gave it to another guy who graduated with me. At this point I was mad. The parents were mad, the band director was upset and the kids were sad. It seemed I was put in the wrong. To this day, I hear how the band is doing and I wonder if I am good enough. I took a grad assistantship with the college, since they offered to pay for my grad school. I have dreams about teaching at that school and I see the kids everywhere, wherever I go. It is constant reminders of what I didn't get. I feel left behind, but I am reminded by Kaitlyn (girlfriend) that free grad school is a big deal. Anyone got any advice?
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Andrew B.
Goods Engine
Allon-sy Alonso!
Posts: 111
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Post by Andrew B. on Sept 19, 2013 15:59:52 GMT
Well Bass, if everyone said you were good and you beleived that you could do it, then you most certainly could. Don't bother moping about a job you didn't get, I used to and I wasted the better part of a year thinking about what I did wrong. If you're getting a free advance on your education, then that's all the better, take the chances that you can get. I know it's not all the advice you need but that's all I know how to give, good luck with the whole deal.
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