Things one learns from Thomas and Friends

[01Salty]

I just thought of this thread, and I think it would end up with funny content . Basically you write what people can learn from the 'Thomas and Friends' Series.

I'll make the first few:

1. Never trust Bertie when it comes to bird watching.

2. Never have the personal want to do a job- this automatically means your boss will choose another person to do it.

3. Never share faces with Toad- you'll end up in pieces.

4. No matter what you get covered with, your eyes will be fine and stay clean.

5. Boulders have personalities and facial features.

And so on- get learning!

[Ronnie]

6. Never hitch hike, you'll end up in a muddy pool

7. Always check your car's brakes before attempting to back up to the water's edge, or you'll join "smashed" and "broken".

8. If "water's nothing to an engine with determination", then a burning building is nothing to a man with a garden hose.

9. Never trust the giant hand behind you

[Aidan]

10. Never set up a barbershop at the end of a railway line.
11. Hens and passengers do not mix.
12. Giant moths may lead to memorable conversations.
13. Carrying fish may lead to disastrous results.
14. If you're going to trap engines at Brendam Docks by knocking a shed over, make sure one of those engines isn't Salty.

[D. Hay]

15.) Never pull a long, heavy goods train with the trucks' brakes on and going towards the edge of a pier.
16.) Never build a quarry near a giant, spherical boulder
17.) Don't get into trouble, or you'll have to suffer: (gasp!) "Confusion and Delay!"
18.) Trucks love their singing, so don't order them to stop.
19.) Never talk about steamrollers (or at least for too long).

[Devious Diesel]

20: Living in a house positioned right at the end of a railway siding is just asking for trouble.
21: Singing rude songs to the same tune as "Pop Goes The Weasel" will either result in you getting bumped or torn apart.

And let's not forget the classic...

22: Trains crash. A lot!

[Locomotive]

23: The Laws of Physics dont apply to Gordon's Hill, Endless Circus Trains can go up no problem, but a small train of Toys are heavier than they actually are!
24: Rules are made to be broken, but then mended again, JUST LIKE FRIENDSHIPS! ^_^
25: Ships and Equipment from the 1920s are bound to be salvaged and used for everyday routines, but wont end up exactly the way they used to be.

Hope that's funny enough xD

[Chris]

26. Putting fat men that have positions of authority and odd Yorkshire accents in life-threatening situations (i.e. falling off a moving steamroller) will always be funny.

[number1]

27: never mind if you have an accident, you're always be so lucky that no one will ever be hurt

28: always have a handy bank of earth at the end of each siding in case of runaway trains.

[Super Train Station H]

29: No matter how severe the damage sustained by an engine during a major accident, it can always be repaired to pristine condition by the following scene. This law excludes E2s who crash into Station Master's houses.

[Christopher]

30: Apparantly, diesels are very similar to steam engines in terms of chugging, whooshing and whistling.

31: Beware to not be in the precense of giant flying snowmen - they are known to cause monotnous behaviour to anyone standing near it.

32: If engines can't be bothered to wait for signalmen, they can simply change the points themselves by the use of mind power.

[PC Stratford]

33. No matter how many times you learn a lesson, you always forget next week!

[Churchy]

34. Always be weary of Class 42 diesels that have claws.

35. Be a farmer on Sodor, you'll be rich enough to have your own station.

36. An engine can have two genders... *coughs*Rusty

[Halstead]

37. Always be aware of driverless engines because they may have minds of their own!

[sudriansirhandel]

38) Engines can couple themselves to freight trucks by just backing onto them.
39) After being flung hundreds of feet into the air, a conductor can land perfectly unharmed on a moving diesel engine.
40) Engines can change their personalities.
41) All drivers, firemen, and workmen look exactly the same.
42) Locations can move themselves around, change their appearances, or even disappear completely from time to time.
43) Engines do not work on a railway schedule as previously thought. They have different jobs every day, which are assigned in the morning. Usually they involve a children's festival, such as a harvest festival, beach party, Christmas party, birthday party, carnival, etc. because children make up the majority of Sodor's population, second only to railway workers.
44) Never build a station with a back to it, because engines enjoy "panoramic views."

[FlyingScotsman]

Really obvious one -

45. Engines are alive.

[ProfessorVengeance]

46. Never trust domeless engines. They aren't respectable.
47. Steam engines actually have engines.
48. Coughs and sneezles spread diseasels.
49. 'Daisy' is really Boco's drag queen persona.
50. Edward has a personal vendetta against cranes.

[douglas]

51. James will NEVER hear the end of the "bootlace incident."
52. Any abandoned landmark that is rediscovered is automatically converted into a new station.
53. Wooden people can't be shown as injured, unless they're in the cab of an engine that just flew through the wall of a station.
54. Contrary to popular opinion, inflated party balloons can indeed to carried in open trucks.
55. When fish is involved, someone is going to be covered in them by the end of the episode.
56. Thomas' contract with HiT stipulates that at least half of every season is automatically reserved for him.
57. Ducks can turn up in very strange places.

[Anime Boy]

58. Never try to take Thomas's coaches without asking him first.
59. Never leave your conductor behind.
60. Do not go past "Danger" signs.
61. Never ignore "Go Slow" signs.
62. Never try to throw stones down on an engine, especially if that engine's name is Henry.

[Little Engine]

63:Ghosts are real
64:Tear apart a private owner wagon,and the trucks will worship you

[zanoh]

65. Be careful when going down the main line. Whistle to the signalman to know you're there.
66. When an engineer of another engine tells you that the line can't handle a heavy engine, don't use that line instead of acting like you didn't hear it.
67. The famous visitor is the City of Truro, yet apparently duck was too shy to say his name.
68.
Trucks are waiting in the Yard;
Tackling them with ease'll,
"Show the world what I can do,"
Gaily boasts the diesel.
In and out he creeps about.
Like a big black weasel.
When he pulls the wrong trucks out
Pop goes the diesel.
69. Once a devious diesel, always a devious diesel (unless you are HiT of course).