Rhodri
Goods Engine
You spin me right round
Posts: 407
|
Post by Rhodri on Dec 18, 2008 2:04:59 GMT
But sir, didn't you hear? The ship you chartered (RMS Yule Killer) to take Arlesdale and his delivery to Antwerp has been impounded by the Dover Harbour authority. They did it on the grounds that the ship's crew weren't in the festival mood, so they impounded the ship and ordered the crew to go out on the piss in Dover and not to return to the ship until the new year. They kind of gave the crew...a Christmas holiday if you catch my drift.
Not only that, there is no other ship in the land thats willing to transport your 637 tons worth of paperclips during the Christmas period.
BTW, I'll be back in London ASAP sir. All this running is pretty good exercise!
|
|
|
Post by themontevideostar on Dec 18, 2008 2:28:21 GMT
Umm, Mr. Humbug sir, you sent me to beat children with this comically oversized yule log and... well... one particularly strong kid shoved it into my chest. Also, there seems to be a large group of youths putting maces in snowballs and heading in my direction. Should I beat them or go to the hospital? I mean, this chest log is really starting to get all hurt-y and splinter-y.
|
|
Jim Prower
Passenger Engine
Now as Sir Handel!
Posts: 803
|
Post by Jim Prower on Dec 18, 2008 2:58:53 GMT
Wally has a "Laziness Disability," so I'll just tell Alice she can do whatever she likes, and I'll "look the other way."
|
|
|
Post by themontevideostar on Dec 18, 2008 3:25:52 GMT
Yeah, uh, not only do I still have a giant log in my chest, my body is riddled with puncture wounds from the snowballs with maces. I think I might die if you guys keep ignoring me. Seriously, the hospital's one block away! And it's Slightly Less Expensive Day at the hospital! Ooooofff... aaagh.... aah, the atmosphere...
|
|
Revolver
Passenger Engine
Unhappy moth is unhappy.
Posts: 516
|
Post by Revolver on Dec 18, 2008 19:47:12 GMT
*Crawls in* Sir, can I at least have a lunch break? It's not easy filling your orders, and I always have time to spare..... *under my breath* I wish that old man would come to his sense's, or get me Mallard or something.....crazy old pirate...
|
|
|
Post by Father Austin Purcell on Dec 18, 2008 21:28:53 GMT
Yeah, uh, not only do I still have a giant log in my chest, my body is riddled with puncture wounds from the snowballs with maces. I think I might die if you guys keep ignoring me. Seriously, the hospital's one block away! And it's Slightly Less Expensive Day at the hospital! Ooooofff... aaagh.... aah, the atmosphere... Thank goodness I'm a fully qualified mountebank as well as a Puritan! Now, open wide- say "ah"... yes... let me look at your eyes for a minute... deary me... pom-pom-pom... this may hurt a moment. Try not to scream too loudly when I insert this razor blade into your ear... there, there, that wasn't too bad was it? Ho-hum... de-de-de... yes... thought as much. I'm sorry to say you have smallpox sir. I hereby prescribe you a course of leeches and a bottle of LNER's Patented Cure For Everything. Six shillings, please. Servants, Mister Scrooge? Parliament can provide you with the most efficient servants on Earth, sir. Being completely devoid of humour we Puritans thrive on work. I think If-Jesus-Christ-Had-Not-Died-For-Thou-Thou-Wouldst-Have-Been-Dammed will be a most agreeable employee for you.
|
|
|
Post by themontevideostar on Dec 18, 2008 22:04:59 GMT
...Didn't work. And despite all medical logic, too! *coughhack* Uuugh... when I die, I shall return to Earth as a gatekeeper at a bordello and I shan't let any of you enter!
*Death*
*PS* That chincey old man should expect a hauntin' sometime soon... Just sayin'.
|
|
|
Post by Casey Jones on Dec 18, 2008 22:11:40 GMT
SCROOGE! In life I was you partner Jacob Marley, but due to legal reason I was forced to change my name! AHHHGGG!! Scrooge! You will be visited by three spirits! Expect the first when the bell tolls one, the second at two, and the third a mid-night! Ahhhh!!! You bare a chain as I do! AHHH!!
|
|
|
Post by themontevideostar on Dec 18, 2008 22:16:15 GMT
Wait, am I supposed to be one of those spirits? Because I didn't receive an memo or some sort or anything. If I am one, then I'll come whenever I feel like it. He ain't gonna know when it's comin'...
|
|
|
Post by FlyingScotsman on Dec 19, 2008 0:16:17 GMT
JACOB Marley? Whoops. I think I just accidentally laid the ghost of BOB Marley to rest. Sorry, everyone.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2008 0:38:07 GMT
Never mind, I'll go and get the ghostresurrectors.
|
|
Assassin
Branch Line Engine
Posts: 1,255
|
Post by Assassin on Dec 19, 2008 16:33:10 GMT
You dare refuse my present?!
*Whips out blunderbuss*
OPEN IT!
|
|
|
Post by Father Austin Purcell on Dec 19, 2008 21:20:03 GMT
...Didn't work. And despite all medical logic, too! *coughhack* Uuugh... when I die, I shall return to Earth as a gatekeeper at a bordello and I shan't let any of you enter! *Death* I am sorry. It appears I was examining the wrong patient. Never mind though! For an extra five shillings I can provide you with a bottle of LNER's Patented Resurrection Lotion! Guaranteed to bring the dead back into the land of the living! If you don't believe me, just watch as I resurrect this toad eater who I have never set eyes on before in my life.
|
|
Revolver
Passenger Engine
Unhappy moth is unhappy.
Posts: 516
|
Post by Revolver on Dec 21, 2008 15:53:20 GMT
LNER your a lousy doctor, if I wasn't delivering freight..... This company's health plan sucks......
|
|
|
Post by FlyingScotsman on Dec 21, 2008 20:40:47 GMT
And we won't get the NHS for another century. Ho hum.
|
|
|
Post by themontevideostar on Dec 22, 2008 17:14:53 GMT
(I will personally smite anyone who goes on to whinge that, actually, Christmas doesn't end until Epiphany, with a large fly swatter) But Mr. Cumbrian, sir, surely you realize that Christmas doesn't end until Epiphany! Yeah, go ahead, swat me with that thing, not as if you're ever actually going to physically harm me. As of right now, I'm not a physical being. P.S: Y'know, the hauntin's gettin' purdy close, jist sayin'...
|
|
Jim Prower
Passenger Engine
Now as Sir Handel!
Posts: 803
|
Post by Jim Prower on Dec 22, 2008 23:10:59 GMT
((I couldn't do much with the PHB. Switching Characters....Heh...when it comes to Christmas Present-day haunting...))
*Japanese-English Translator=on*
Hello, My name is Akio Asakura. The Pointy-Haired Boss got busted for Internet Violations in his company, and I am in the London area. I was told to come here by a spirit, and am awaiting further instruction.
On an unrelated note, your M25 Is a nice place to run late at night. Reminds me of our Bayshore Route in Tokyo.
|
|
SRapi
Main Line Engine
Pronounced: Ess-Are-Ay-Pie.
Posts: 1,543
|
Post by SRapi on Dec 3, 2023 21:14:37 GMT
You wanna know what turns me into Scrooge? Seeing Christmas decorations and hearing Christmas music... in OCTOBER. Here in the States, I'll have no part of the Christmas spirit before Halloween, and I don't want to hear even a sleigh bell before Thanksgiving! Let me enjoy my spooky and my feasting and THEN you can break out the Christmas stuff.
To show a softer side, I actually don't mind the Christmas season, despite being Jewish. That's too much soft side! Bah humbug!
|
|
|
Post by Rusty Red Scrap Iron on Dec 15, 2023 18:48:46 GMT
I don't know. You make plans for the week to do stuff that's two weeks before Christmas and the year's end, and what's happens, one gets a dose of Man Flu. Bah Humbug! If that's not one way to ruin ones Festive Cheer, then I don't know what is because believe me. I've had a Festive Cheer ruined one on the very day of Christmas itself, and its one Christmas that I'd wish to long forget (which is what the majority probably feel about Christmas of 2020). But the knock-on of that one Christmas constantly leaves me feeling anxious for every other Christmas that has come since - especially those in Leap Years of all Years, which is when that Christmas I'd love to forget occurred.
P.S. Yes I've actually for real been under the weather this past week.
|
|